May all your characters find their stories
July 20, 2024

Reyna the Lion - Being a Woman Online with Alejandra Wilhelm (D&D5e)

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Season 3 Dungeons And Dragons

Content warning this episode for discussions of sexual assault and sexual harassment. We don’t go into any detail, but if this topic is a trigger for you, I recommend you skip it.

Alejandra Wilhelm brings Reyna to the table. Reyna is a fierce and loyal barbarian hiding her identity from the archfey her father sold her to.

Alejandra and I discuss parasociality, bad behavior on Discord, and roleplay on TikTok. We also talk about self-insert characters - from physical appearance to emotional trauma.

This character is built for D&D 5e.

Alejandra Wilhelm is a queer Latinx TTRPG creator, one half of the Table Talk Podcast duo and a TTRPG character artist.

You can learn more about Alejandra at:
https://www.characterswithoutstories.com/guests/alejandra-wilhelm/

One Shot's Tavern is a TTRPG Podcast focused on exploring new systems to tell your stories, with pro GMs broadening their horizons by playing new or different TTRPG systems, and sharing their thoughts with you.
https://oneshotstavern.podbean.com/

The Storyteller Squad is a narrative-driven actual play podcast featuring magic, mystery, and vibrant characters inhabiting a world where the supernatural and the mundane intertwine in their Monster of the Week campaign.
https://www.thestorytellersquad.com

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Cover art by The Curiographer
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecuriographer

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Thanks for listening, and may all your characters find their stories!

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.179 --> 00:00:04.980
Content warning this episode for discussions of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

00:00:05.620 --> 00:00:10.808
We don't go into any detail, but if this topic is a trigger for you, I recommend you skip it.

00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:19.719
People got into the server via TikTok, so oftentimes they would see my character on TikTok and then be surprised that they could, like, interact with me as a human being.

00:00:20.300 --> 00:00:25.679
And I want people to focus on the content, not the fact that I'm a pretty girl on the internet that has nice looking titties.

00:00:26.410 --> 00:00:31.155
I made her very, um sexually free and very emotionally unavailable.

00:00:31.745 --> 00:00:32.784
First of all, hello.

00:00:33.664 --> 00:00:35.154
Like, nice to meet you.

00:00:35.154 --> 00:00:36.454
I don't even know who you are.

00:00:36.543 --> 00:00:37.654
Second of all, no.

00:00:38.405 --> 00:00:39.594
So what does she look like?

00:00:39.814 --> 00:00:40.164
Me.

00:00:40.344 --> 00:01:25.134
Friends, welcome to Characters Without Stories, a TTRPG podcast about the roads not yet traveled.

00:01:25.314 --> 00:01:25.944
I'm Star.

00:01:25.995 --> 00:01:28.125
This episode, I'm joined by Alejandra.

00:01:28.215 --> 00:01:34.344
Alejandra is a queer Latinx TTRPG creator, one half of the Table Talk podcast duo.

00:01:34.590 --> 00:01:36.760
And a TTRPG character artist.

00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:38.500
Alejandra, welcome to the show.

00:01:38.829 --> 00:01:40.769
Hi, thank you so much for having me.

00:01:41.049 --> 00:01:42.400
I'm so excited to have you.

00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:47.438
I'm a big fan of your podcast, and I'm really excited to hear about your character.

00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:49.730
So how did you get into TTRPGs?

00:01:49.810 --> 00:01:54.469
I got into it, I started like my first year in community college.

00:01:54.469 --> 00:01:58.250
I've always been nerdy, love video games, love anime, all that jazz.

00:01:58.609 --> 00:02:05.539
And I had a friend who mentioned wanting to get into Dungeons and Dragons, and he asked if I would learn to play if he got a game together.

00:02:05.539 --> 00:02:06.299
And I was like, yeah, sure.

00:02:06.299 --> 00:02:10.709
I love fantasy and like, I don't really know what Dungeons and Dragons entails, but I'll, I'll play.

00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:13.289
And then once I did like a little bit of research, I was like, Oh, cool.

00:02:13.310 --> 00:02:15.459
I have to act in front of people.

00:02:15.459 --> 00:02:17.348
And like, I have no acting experience or nothing else.

00:02:17.349 --> 00:02:18.289
I was very nervous.

00:02:18.340 --> 00:02:24.250
Tried it out that one time, then like, That particular game was not my vibe because of, like, other people that were there.

00:02:24.300 --> 00:02:25.099
He was great.

00:02:25.329 --> 00:02:26.750
He was telling a great story.

00:02:26.759 --> 00:02:33.169
It's the other people that were just like, I just want to do combat, roll damage, and, like, not interact with anything else.

00:02:33.189 --> 00:02:34.370
And I was not about it.

00:02:34.378 --> 00:02:39.558
So it, like, laid dormant for a few years until I graduated college.

00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:48.550
And then I had another friend, you know, I was in the, in a time of my life where I was like, trying to find a new friend group and he was like, you know, you mentioned that you played one time.

00:02:48.838 --> 00:02:51.878
I have a space at my table if you want to join and meet new people.

00:02:51.878 --> 00:02:53.539
And I was like, yeah, no, I'm desperate for friends.

00:02:53.610 --> 00:02:55.169
Like, let me, let me in that.

00:02:55.169 --> 00:03:07.009
And that was the first time I sat at a table with people that actually like loved to play and were role playing and like had character voices and I like that's when the bug bit me and I was like, Oh, I didn't know it could be like this.

00:03:07.330 --> 00:03:08.750
I was like, cool, awesome.

00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:10.659
So I got addicted, heavy.

00:03:11.389 --> 00:03:15.020
And then I basically got really into, like, D&D TikTok.

00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:18.610
And, like, I had an account that blew up subsequently because of a trend.

00:03:18.620 --> 00:03:21.508
And, like, I just got really entrenched in all of it.

00:03:21.558 --> 00:03:26.128
And so now I've been playing for the past, I want to say, like, five or six years.

00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:30.289
And I actually started DMing a full year ago now.

00:03:30.349 --> 00:03:31.629
I'm a new baby DM.

00:03:31.699 --> 00:03:34.189
And of course, like, now we started the podcast as well.

00:03:34.189 --> 00:03:36.250
So I'm just like, I'm just knee deep.

00:03:36.495 --> 00:03:38.655
In that at this point, it's my entire life.

00:03:38.814 --> 00:03:40.754
How long have you been doing the podcast for?

00:03:40.895 --> 00:03:43.004
So the podcast started in July last year.

00:03:43.004 --> 00:03:50.253
So, so we're relatively like pretty new, but we had a lot of good like reception and stuff and we met a lot of cool people.

00:03:50.264 --> 00:04:00.594
We ended up kind of on a whim going to PAX Unplugged and met more creators that way and had like a big flood of guests that we got to like, bring onto the show and stuff like that.

00:04:00.594 --> 00:04:02.894
And so now we're just, we're just keeping on keeping on.

00:04:03.344 --> 00:04:06.044
Alejandra, who are you bringing to the table today?

00:04:06.104 --> 00:04:08.155
I'm bringing my character, Reyna.

00:04:08.215 --> 00:04:14.094
I've built her story for a long time, but never actually gotten to formally play her at a game.

00:04:14.144 --> 00:04:20.185
I joined that one campaign, and then, like, quarantine happened, so we couldn't actually meet up and play.

00:04:20.535 --> 00:04:22.803
But at that point, I was bit by the bug.

00:04:22.853 --> 00:04:25.024
I'm all in D&D now.

00:04:25.430 --> 00:04:38.778
And so my TikTok was flooded with D&D stuff, and I remember there being a time where, you know how people do things where it's like, oh, this is my tavern, or this is my guild, or whatever, and so one guy just kind of came across my page, and he's like, what about a thieves guild?

00:04:38.819 --> 00:05:08.810
And so, a little bit later he did like a video of him playing out like recruiting people for the Thieves Guild and I don't know what came over me but I was just like I have a barbarian costume in my closet and I just like made this character on a whim and then just started like interacting with his post and then he created a Discord like roleplay server so a lot of the story that was going on on Discord was also playing out on TikTok and it was D&D related but it was mostly like roleplay heavy.

00:05:09.204 --> 00:05:19.494
So I played that character on the server and the TikTok for like a good year or two, basically, like the whole time we were basically on lockdown and all that stuff.

00:05:19.504 --> 00:05:26.978
So I got to really like develop her story, but I've never actually gotten to like be at a campaign, like an actual game, and play her.

00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:50.750
Even now, I'm like, I'm a DM, and so I get to play her as like an NPC, but I've always been interested at the thought of like, I know how her story turned out via just pure like storytelling and roleplay, but I'd always be so interested to see what she would be like if I started her over in an actual game with other people that are like at that game participating with me.

00:05:51.149 --> 00:05:51.658
Right.

00:05:51.668 --> 00:06:02.680
This is an interesting style of play that I am not all that familiar with is these kinds of text based, server based, I don't know if you'd call it play by post, if that's kind of the situation that you're talking about.

00:06:02.860 --> 00:06:03.680
Pretty much, yeah.

00:06:03.829 --> 00:06:05.410
Not something I've done a whole lot of.

00:06:05.470 --> 00:06:13.548
How did that work between you playing on TikTok and in the server, like what kinds of things were happening in the server to develop your character?

00:06:13.548 --> 00:06:16.620
Were you acting out scenes or what kind of things were happening?

00:06:16.660 --> 00:06:19.870
It was kind of, if you could think of it as like a living world.

00:06:19.930 --> 00:06:25.689
So every channel and every category was like a different section of the ship we were on.

00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:28.199
The city that we were docked at, et cetera, et cetera.

00:06:28.199 --> 00:06:35.800
And it just kept kind of building itself out as people played and they would kind of "yes, and" and create new sections of the world together.

00:06:35.829 --> 00:06:42.370
And so it would be kind of a play by post and you just kind of wake up and you're like, okay, where am I going to drop my girl off today?

00:06:42.370 --> 00:06:44.550
Is she waking up at the tavern?

00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:46.394
Is she on the ship?

00:06:46.394 --> 00:06:47.084
Is she wherever?

00:06:47.105 --> 00:06:59.285
And you just kind of like do a little post where you're like, oh, my character wakes up and like starts kind of wandering around to see who's there and people will start kind of interacting with you and saying hi and whatever and I was like those scenes kind of play out.

00:06:59.295 --> 00:07:01.785
It is like a conversation that's going back and forth.

00:07:01.923 --> 00:07:09.334
Other people can kind of hop in and influence the story and then kind of the D&D mechanic of it is like there's like weird little rules, right?

00:07:09.334 --> 00:07:39.454
So like us talking in parentheses is us having like out of character conversation so if we're like depicting a scene with our character what they're saying back and forth you could like in parentheses be like you can make an insight check if you want or something they would roll and like kind of we play out how that scene goes still based on like the rolls and stuff but it was a lot more like role play based there would still be scenes where there would be combat and a lot of the story that was happening on Discord would bleed over to TikTok and like vice versa.

00:07:39.473 --> 00:07:48.404
So it was kind of like the two were affecting each other and the main like admin team, which I eventually like became a part of was orchestrating events.

00:07:48.404 --> 00:07:53.439
So it would be like, our first big thing was a ballroom heist situation.

00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:55.060
So everyone got invited to the ball.

00:07:55.139 --> 00:08:00.230
And as we were part of the Thieves Guild, like there was certain missions to like steal things from certain rooms.

00:08:00.230 --> 00:08:04.809
And the admins were DMing like the ballroom, the dining room, the whatever.

00:08:04.850 --> 00:08:05.629
And I was one of them.

00:08:05.629 --> 00:08:07.250
I think mine was the dining room.

00:08:07.860 --> 00:08:13.714
So I'd be playing my character in other rooms while also controlling the DM situation.

00:08:15.064 --> 00:08:15.605
That's a lot.

00:08:15.904 --> 00:08:17.555
I was splitting my brain.

00:08:17.574 --> 00:08:17.855
Yeah.

00:08:18.254 --> 00:08:19.915
But it was so, it was so fun.

00:08:20.074 --> 00:08:22.035
And like, it really, really engaging.

00:08:22.035 --> 00:08:28.543
And I loved interacting with other people's characters and like the stories that would kind of develop on their own in that way.

00:08:28.543 --> 00:08:33.094
And it was, I don't know, it was, it was definitely a very fun way to play, but it's definitely very like fun.

00:08:33.335 --> 00:08:34.565
Very role play heavy.

00:08:34.615 --> 00:08:36.384
How many people were in that server?

00:08:36.433 --> 00:08:38.345
Over 300 at the peak of it.

00:08:38.695 --> 00:08:43.533
So there's a big difference between 300 people in a server and four or five people at a table.

00:08:43.595 --> 00:08:44.644
Absolutely correct.

00:08:45.033 --> 00:09:02.144
Yeah, no, there were times where, and this feels like weird to say, but there were people that were fans of my character and like people got into the server via TikTok, so oftentimes they would see my character on TikTok and they'd be surprised that they could like interact with me as a human being on the server.

00:09:02.563 --> 00:09:05.024
And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm just a character that's beep bopping around.

00:09:05.044 --> 00:09:11.394
And it would be at times, like, I would enter a chat room like, oh, I'm just gonna enter and go RP.

00:09:11.414 --> 00:09:18.184
And it would be like, because there's so many people actively role playing in there, like, it would be like, many people want to have a conversation with me at once.

00:09:18.184 --> 00:09:23.644
So I'm carrying, like, several dialogues in one text thread, and that's going so fast.

00:09:23.644 --> 00:09:25.024
And you're like, okay, this is a lot.

00:09:25.198 --> 00:09:25.860
This is overwhelming.

00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:26.549
Yeah.

00:09:26.549 --> 00:09:33.120
So at one point I had to start like designating private rooms that were like, oh, Reyna's bedroom at the tavern.

00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:39.568
And I'm like, okay, this way I can kind of like funnel in people individually and not be overwhelmed with so much activity.

00:09:39.610 --> 00:09:42.438
But I'd still want to like interact with as many people as possible.

00:09:42.499 --> 00:09:45.438
So yeah, it was, it was interesting, especially when it got so, so busy.

00:09:45.438 --> 00:09:47.208
It was, it was a lot to manage.

00:09:47.250 --> 00:09:55.424
What is the biggest thing that you miss about not having the opportunity to play her in a campaign with a smaller group of people?

00:09:55.774 --> 00:10:14.014
I would love to watch the moments of like, failure, I think, because to a certain degree, whenever you're just doing like, roleplay heavy stuff, even though there are rolls involved, it's a lot of like, you're succeeding at most of the things that you do because you're trying to tell a specific kind of story.

00:10:14.054 --> 00:10:18.865
And there's not that element of like, ah, the dice are really, really fucking me over right now.

00:10:18.865 --> 00:10:21.134
And like, I love the moments of failure.

00:10:21.134 --> 00:10:27.235
I love the not ones because I feel like those are the moments where you have a lot of interesting character development.

00:10:27.235 --> 00:10:54.254
And all of the character development she had was because of like me forcing it right like I'm putting her through a hardship or trauma or something to kind of get her to grow and become something at one point I'm part of the admin team so I'm like much higher level than everybody else because I have to be or whatever it's like I didn't get to develop her in a very natural organic way if that makes sense so I would love to see what she would have turned out to be.

00:10:54.615 --> 00:10:58.004
If it wasn't up to me what she became, if that makes sense.

00:10:58.414 --> 00:10:59.434
Yeah, absolutely.

00:10:59.514 --> 00:11:01.815
I think it's an interesting idea.

00:11:01.924 --> 00:11:03.924
Failure is so much a part of role playing games.

00:11:03.955 --> 00:11:07.083
Again, for me, it's also one of my favorite parts of role playing games.

00:11:07.445 --> 00:11:13.475
And it wouldn't really be a tabletop role playing game if we didn't have some element of randomness.

00:11:13.784 --> 00:11:24.803
Like some gameplay element, because we can always just sit around at a table and tell a story together, but we're putting it into a specific gaming setting, and I think especially with D&D, like, the rolls mean a lot.

00:11:24.875 --> 00:11:34.125
So, when you're talking about putting your character through trauma, through failure, having drawbacks to her over time, how do you do that without the dice?

00:11:34.448 --> 00:11:44.429
For me, it's an interesting element of like, I, for whatever reason, and I don't know what that says about me, love to put my favorite characters through just really hard shit.

00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:48.360
And it would be like, yeah, I can't let Reyna be too happy for too long.

00:11:48.450 --> 00:11:51.379
Like something, something's gotta, gotta go.

00:11:51.419 --> 00:12:02.360
Because I just, I just feel like the getting her to go through some struggle or big things like that is what gave her chances to prove herself or, or things like that.

00:12:02.369 --> 00:12:08.460
But the way that that kind of looked for her, it was interesting because when I first started her, I didn't have an origin.

00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:10.789
I put makeup on and I was like, I don't know.

00:12:10.799 --> 00:12:11.879
I picked a fucking name.

00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:13.879
I speak Spanish, so I just named her Reyna.

00:12:13.970 --> 00:12:14.698
I'm a Leo.

00:12:14.769 --> 00:12:16.240
I have, I have ego issues.

00:12:16.625 --> 00:12:18.794
Like, I just went with that.

00:12:19.404 --> 00:12:33.514
But when I got into the server, and this is one of my favorite things, I met one of my favorite people, Oak, through that server, and he was a goliath walking around in like a purple suit, real flashy, and he had like a book that he would constantly be writing in.

00:12:33.553 --> 00:12:38.595
And he'd talk to people, but as he would talk to you and have conversations, he'd be jotting things down in this notebook.

00:12:38.794 --> 00:12:44.384
And so when I first interacted with him, he would be asking her things about who she is, where she comes from, and all that stuff.

00:12:44.384 --> 00:12:51.034
And homie, I made this girl two seconds ago, and I have no fucking clue, like, what her deal is at all.

00:12:51.315 --> 00:12:55.695
But in the moment, you're roleplaying it live, so I was like, I just made her dodgy about it.

00:12:55.695 --> 00:13:00.394
I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna tell you, like, where I would come from or be very vague about it.

00:13:00.813 --> 00:13:02.365
And it came off a certain way.

00:13:02.404 --> 00:13:05.583
Now I have to figure out why she's that way.

00:13:05.634 --> 00:13:07.644
There has to be a reason for her to be dodgy.

00:13:07.693 --> 00:13:12.844
And I just kind of came up with this whole thing of like, she used to be a human noble.

00:13:13.183 --> 00:13:23.184
And it came from a lot of the things that I was consuming at the time because I was reading the ACOTAR [A Court of Thorns and Roses] series and watching The Witcher along with some lore from our current campaign.

00:13:23.235 --> 00:13:28.955
And so it became a thing of her father was just like kind of a lowly lord with a lot of ambition.

00:13:29.365 --> 00:13:54.164
He kept sending people out to the Feywilds because he heard somebody else got a lot of rewards that he took back and made himself rich from the Feywilds and he was sacrificing a lot of people to go to the Feywilds to, to figure out if he could make a deal with someone and he finally did and it was like a, like the bargain of surprise in The Witcher where you make a deal and then whatever that person returns to when they get home is yours.

00:13:54.769 --> 00:13:56.690
And for him, it was his daughter.

00:13:56.889 --> 00:13:57.519
Oh, okay.

00:13:57.578 --> 00:13:58.980
Because timey wimey shit.

00:13:59.529 --> 00:14:02.730
Once you're in the Feywild to get back, and you're just like, oh shit, I have a kid now.

00:14:02.769 --> 00:14:08.109
But that Fey didn't come collect until she was old enough to be coronated.

00:14:08.158 --> 00:14:11.328
And he basically went in, was like, nope, you're coming home with me.

00:14:11.369 --> 00:14:12.940
And her mom helped her escape.

00:14:13.230 --> 00:14:45.840
Her mom was an adventurer, and she had a deal that she hadn't cashed in with a hag, and the hag basically made it so that her name would be scrubbed from everyone's memory, and no one could recollect what she looked like, but in turn, she had to basically take on somebody else's fate, and so she had to just become something completely different, and she became a barbarian with no name, no title, nothing to herself, and I think eventually, like, got into the coliseums and like, that's how she earned some money and fame and notoriety, but was always trying to get as far away from her kingdom as possible.

00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:53.708
And the deal was like, if someone connected the dots organically on their own, then the spell would be broken and that Fey could find her.

00:14:53.990 --> 00:14:57.629
Okay, yeah, I was going to ask what are the repercussions if she gets found out.

00:14:58.039 --> 00:14:59.379
Well, those are some pretty big ones.

00:15:00.230 --> 00:15:01.559
Yeah, some pretty big ones.

00:15:01.590 --> 00:15:09.110
It was kind of like I thought of it as there's power in a name, and that your name is carried like across the memory of other people.

00:15:09.460 --> 00:15:15.958
So I think that is like his web of trying to figure out where she is, is when someone remembered who she was.

00:15:16.299 --> 00:15:19.860
Speaking of the power of a name, Reyna is a very powerful name.

00:15:19.870 --> 00:15:21.090
Why did you choose that one?

00:15:21.149 --> 00:15:23.830
At the time, I don't know that I had any logic.

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:31.809
What, one of the things I like a lot is sometimes making a choice on a whim, and then in the hindsight, realizing how good it connects with things.

00:15:31.889 --> 00:15:47.975
At the time, I didn't have the lore of, like, she is a to be queen situation but it helped shape that decision because I was like well her name is Reyna maybe this but I knew that Reyna what she was currently going as is not her real name and I eventually again on a whim picked the name Aurelia.

00:15:48.224 --> 00:15:50.414
So Aurelia means the golden one.

00:15:50.455 --> 00:15:59.715
Yes and so when a lot of what that made sense for me is like gold is a big like theme that I carry through a lot of my characters actually.

00:15:59.745 --> 00:16:10.600
Most of my favorite characters have gold eyes because I have very light colored hazel eyes and they oftentimes look like caramel colored or gold in the sunlight.

00:16:10.909 --> 00:16:14.460
So that's like my little like piece of me that I like to just like throw in there.

00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:16.059
That and I just like gold jewelry.

00:16:16.059 --> 00:16:21.789
I'm a fucking Leo and the most stereotypical one that you'll ever meet probably.

00:16:22.110 --> 00:16:28.929
So I was just like, I, I weave that through a lot of like her aesthetic and things that are important to her and, and like what she looks like.

00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:32.580
So I was like, ah, all of these things are lining up really well and I like it.

00:16:33.220 --> 00:16:34.399
So what does she look like?

00:16:34.634 --> 00:16:35.014
Me.

00:16:36.264 --> 00:16:41.234
Because at the time with TikTok and stuff, I was like, I'm broke because quarantine.

00:16:41.304 --> 00:16:45.554
And I was like, I can't afford to really go get like a wig or, or much else.

00:16:45.554 --> 00:16:48.224
So the easiest bit was like making her look like me.

00:16:48.274 --> 00:16:50.254
So she's, she's got my big old curly hair.

00:16:50.254 --> 00:16:51.274
She's got my gold eyes.

00:16:51.274 --> 00:16:57.674
And then I just do like, most of the work was like makeup and then whatever I had in cosplay that I already owned.

00:16:57.745 --> 00:17:03.254
She's a self insert as like you can humanly possibly get pretty, pretty shamelessly.

00:17:03.269 --> 00:17:20.288
Yeah, I think probably in a bit we'll get into other ways that she's a self insert, but just starting at the top level where you got started with her, it was in reaction to a TikTok, starting with the cosplay, did you just have this costume lying around and you're like, this is it?

00:17:20.298 --> 00:17:21.269
Like, how did that start?

00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:26.000
Yeah, so I made that costume for the first time that I dressed up at Ren Faire.

00:17:26.049 --> 00:17:27.940
I made a costume for my girlfriend at the time.

00:17:27.940 --> 00:17:30.369
She was like a Celtic warrior situation.

00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:34.759
And then we just went thrifting and we were just like finding whatever we could.

00:17:34.779 --> 00:17:43.660
And I, from the same fur that I made, like the lining of her cloak, I did like barbarian fur on a bra, basically, and just did like moccasin skin on it.

00:17:43.660 --> 00:17:46.849
And like, Put a bunch of bones everywhere and like, whatever.

00:17:47.240 --> 00:17:50.339
It was just a very simple, easy costume that I put together.

00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:53.400
And she had like a little fur cloak that just covered her shoulders.

00:17:53.450 --> 00:17:57.349
And I just had that laying around because of Renaissance festival.

00:17:57.368 --> 00:18:01.299
And I was like, well, I have this, I can make her a barbarian.

00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:03.579
And I was like, what the fuck is a barbarian doing in a thieves guild?

00:18:03.890 --> 00:18:04.490
Mind your business.

00:18:04.990 --> 00:18:05.710
No idea.

00:18:06.089 --> 00:18:06.549
No idea.

00:18:06.589 --> 00:18:07.980
I'm the muscle, I guess.

00:18:10.579 --> 00:18:16.460
We're talking about a character who you have played through on the server, basically level one to Archfey.

00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:18.119
Yeah.

00:18:18.159 --> 00:18:22.410
If you were to start over again in a campaign, would you start at level one?

00:18:22.479 --> 00:18:24.490
And would that be a blank slate?

00:18:24.529 --> 00:18:27.099
Or are you going to be bringing in things that you discovered about her?

00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:50.910
So I think if I stuck to her original, like, origin lore, I think she would start a little higher level, not anything crazy, but probably somewhere around, like, maybe level five or so, because eventually, like, the reason she had some combat prowess, and I think at the end of the server, we even started not quite at level one, we started at, like, level four or something.

00:18:50.950 --> 00:18:54.960
So part of that lore was, like, that she eventually kind of found her way.

00:18:55.369 --> 00:19:12.029
Into a coliseum and was like, I'm just going to fight my way up the ranks and earn my freedom again, but then come out of it with some money and some notoriety and some title, a bit of a reputation that I can hide underneath, essentially, I think she would start probably around there, like pre thieves guild.

00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:14.990
But like, just getting out of that situation.

00:19:15.210 --> 00:19:23.388
Do you think that the things that you have role played with her in the server would come into how you play her moving forward from a new origin point?

00:19:23.409 --> 00:19:27.230
Or would you want to just be a completely different character moving forward?

00:19:27.410 --> 00:19:31.710
I would be so down to like, watch her become something entirely different.

00:19:31.740 --> 00:19:38.159
Because again, it's like, it's a lot of that became an influence of the environment and the other stories that were happening around me.

00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:47.849
I think the element of like, the, the Fey that is hunting her down would still be part of, you know, the looming threat that the DM could do with whatever he or she's so pleased.

00:19:47.910 --> 00:19:54.000
But I think I would like to see what alternative situation would have become of that.

00:19:54.009 --> 00:19:55.349
Cause yeah, I think in the.

00:19:55.555 --> 00:20:10.034
In the server, eventually, like, one of the big major events that we hosted and people could be a part of was the fact that, like, Reyna gets kidnapped, and so they conscript a party out of the Thieves' Guild to go hunt her down and, like, get her back from the Feywilds.

00:20:10.035 --> 00:20:17.484
They defeat the Archfey and get her back, and when they kill him, she gains her first level of wild magic, Warlock.

00:20:17.914 --> 00:20:18.795
Oh, interesting.

00:20:18.795 --> 00:20:20.994
So she starts dipping into warlock.

00:20:20.994 --> 00:20:22.234
She starts multi classing.

00:20:22.494 --> 00:20:24.644
Yeah, I think she's a wild magic barbarian.

00:20:24.724 --> 00:20:28.105
And I forget, it was like the Fey warlock.

00:20:28.224 --> 00:20:30.045
Archfey patron, something like that.

00:20:30.115 --> 00:20:30.503
Yeah.

00:20:30.825 --> 00:20:33.253
Tell me about this warlock deal that was struck.

00:20:33.314 --> 00:20:42.469
Some of the lore that I have for Velendryn, and I'm going to be selective about my choices in this because she is, uh, an NPC in my game.

00:20:43.019 --> 00:20:44.199
My players listen to this.

00:20:44.638 --> 00:20:50.378
There's some things that need to, that need to stay hidden, but she wasn't the first woman he did this with.

00:20:50.469 --> 00:20:54.878
There were other wives that he had and from like different kingdoms.

00:20:54.878 --> 00:21:00.929
He's just like a bad guy that just takes pride in like taking down powerful women out of their station, essentially.

00:21:00.969 --> 00:21:01.749
And.

00:21:01.939 --> 00:21:15.269
I think a lot of the logic behind that is not just for the sake of he's a gross man collecting multiple women, but he houses a little bit of his power in each of them as a way to sustain himself should he fall.

00:21:15.439 --> 00:21:21.035
And so I think Reyna at the time was the wife that was closest when he fell.

00:21:21.075 --> 00:21:23.914
And so she got some of his power.

00:21:23.954 --> 00:21:25.734
He had already turned her into a fey.

00:21:25.753 --> 00:21:28.835
And then she assumed some of his power that remained.

00:21:28.914 --> 00:21:30.884
So right now she doesn't have a patron.

00:21:30.894 --> 00:21:32.194
The patron is herself.

00:21:32.474 --> 00:21:33.494
Oh, interesting.

00:21:33.795 --> 00:21:35.644
Was Velendryn just a sexist?

00:21:35.644 --> 00:21:38.223
Like, why was he taking down all these powerful women?

00:21:38.509 --> 00:22:05.640
I think he particularly enjoyed causing not necessarily that against the women but causing grief essentially and so part of that is her father made that deal because he was a very greedy man and he wanted to assume more power and in his later years he kind of just thought like with arrogance that he got away with it or maybe the legend wasn't interested in his child and he's like I got all this money and this power and whatever now I'm a king.

00:22:06.065 --> 00:22:08.765
And I get to have my cake and eat it too, basically.

00:22:08.994 --> 00:22:17.204
But he kind of let the kingdom start falling to ruin a little bit because of his greed, and he wouldn't invest any of that money out back to his people.

00:22:17.253 --> 00:22:29.365
And Reyna, I had her be a lot more involved with the people, and people were excited for her to gain the mantle because that incited like positive change for the kingdom essentially.

00:22:29.684 --> 00:22:39.394
And so it wasn't that Velendryn wasn't interested, it was more so that he wanted to wait for her to become a hope to her people and for them to be just at the crest of like, oh, things are going to get better.

00:22:39.394 --> 00:22:40.614
And he's like, nope, scooped.

00:22:41.434 --> 00:22:52.314
And I had him like, have like a small counselor, like divination thing that would always kind of give him details of like, oh yeah, this kid that is now promised to you, this is what she's going to become.

00:22:52.684 --> 00:23:04.115
This is when you can go get her or whatever and that's how he kind of knows like the effect of his actions and I think he just kind of thrives on like that grief and despair that he causes like mortals essentially.

00:23:04.664 --> 00:23:12.434
Reyna's, or I guess Aurelia at this point, seems like she doesn't have a great relationship with her father?

00:23:12.824 --> 00:23:14.034
Not necessarily, no.

00:23:14.085 --> 00:23:16.214
It was more so like a good relationship with her mother.

00:23:16.424 --> 00:23:17.253
That was a lot stronger.

00:23:17.294 --> 00:23:20.375
Did she know that her father had made this bargain?

00:23:20.884 --> 00:23:20.943
No.

00:23:21.084 --> 00:23:24.634
No, so when it came due, that's when she figured it out?

00:23:24.673 --> 00:23:25.084
Yeah.

00:23:25.314 --> 00:23:27.443
Her and her mother did not know.

00:23:27.503 --> 00:23:31.134
And so like, her mother was pissed and was like, how fucking dare you?

00:23:31.773 --> 00:23:35.044
And that's why she was like, I do not give a fuck.

00:23:35.044 --> 00:23:39.795
I'm going to find a way to like, help my daughter get out of this and go live her own life.

00:23:39.845 --> 00:23:41.545
So she was close with her mother?

00:23:41.545 --> 00:23:42.064
Mhm.

00:23:42.214 --> 00:23:43.585
What was their relationship like?

00:23:43.634 --> 00:23:46.065
Um, I think of it as, like, very close.

00:23:46.065 --> 00:23:51.075
Again, her mother was an adventurer, so I didn't like to think of her as, like, a more courtly woman.

00:23:51.075 --> 00:23:53.404
I think she taught her, like, self defense.

00:23:53.444 --> 00:24:02.585
The reason Reyna became the kind of person she was or the kind of leader she was meant to be is because of, like, the teachings of her mother, not necessarily any influence of her father.

00:24:03.194 --> 00:24:13.134
So I think she was the one that was like really preparing her for what it means to take that mantle and like trying to build her to be something better than what her father was.

00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:20.250
Does the bargain that she made with the hag to get rid of her past identity, does that mean she can't see her mother anymore?

00:24:20.949 --> 00:24:21.099
Correct.

00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:22.409
Well, that must be heartbreaking.

00:24:22.779 --> 00:24:26.299
Yeah, and her mother wouldn't remember what she looked like or what her name was.

00:24:26.609 --> 00:24:29.048
Would she have memories that were just fuzzy?

00:24:29.048 --> 00:24:32.739
Would she I guess there are things that are outside of just like what things look like.

00:24:32.859 --> 00:24:33.869
So I was just curious.

00:24:33.930 --> 00:24:43.035
You would remember that the person existed, but you couldn't quite recollect like the deed like anytime like you would try to like hone in on that it would just be fuzzy.

00:24:43.075 --> 00:24:49.224
So her mother might know or think she had a daughter but not remember who that daughter was?

00:24:49.275 --> 00:25:12.039
Yeah I eventually had it be like as part of the mythos of that kingdom is like very Tangled like the lost princess situation and like when nobody remembers what she looks like so any depictions of her her face is blank that there's no mention of a name on any like papers or anything but like they're aware of her existence and there was always a little bit of that hope that at some point she might return.

00:25:12.454 --> 00:25:16.355
Did Reyna have any other friends before she left?

00:25:16.544 --> 00:25:20.474
Did she have relationships that she had to give up besides the one with her mother?

00:25:20.805 --> 00:25:26.914
Yeah, I had one as part of a storyline that started to develop on TikTok and never got, like, super fleshed out.

00:25:26.914 --> 00:25:36.509
But there was another creator who made, like, a knight OC and we got to talking and I was like, oh yeah, like she could have had a night and stuff like that.

00:25:36.509 --> 00:25:46.808
And so we played out a little bit of that story, but I think it was an elven male knight that was like part of her personal guard or like the main one tasked with like keeping her safe and things like that.

00:25:47.134 --> 00:26:00.714
I think he helped her escape, but there was a part of him that was a little bit against it, because being an elf and being familiar with Fey, knowing that trying to get out of a bargain like that can lead to like, only more shit.

00:26:00.734 --> 00:26:14.034
He helped her escape because he cared about her, but he wasn't super in agreeance with it because he didn't know what the ramifications were gonna be, and if you like, fast forward in it, he's now currently ruling the kingdoms called Covia.

00:26:14.255 --> 00:26:32.519
He currently rules that he took over after the family basically died and he kind of rules it as like a little bit of a warlord and he's gotten resentful in her absence and the fact that the kingdom and the town had to like have constant like attacks from the Night Court and things like that as like punishment for, letting the princess go.

00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:34.680
Does she know that this is happening?

00:26:34.940 --> 00:26:37.960
She didn't know that for most of the time that she was gone.

00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:48.250
It was only like really after, after Velendryn's gone and after she's free that she would start even trying to look back to Covia and realizing what the situation was.

00:26:48.664 --> 00:26:55.424
Would the effects of this deal that was made with the hag, would that wear off once Velendryn was gone?

00:26:55.944 --> 00:27:03.273
Technically she was a human, but her life didn't belong to her anymore, even with the deal kind of being like skirted around.

00:27:03.699 --> 00:27:04.888
She's still tied to it.

00:27:04.898 --> 00:27:06.949
She's just basically avoiding it.

00:27:06.999 --> 00:27:17.489
So I think the reason that she was so successful at the Colosseum is like she couldn't technically die because her life was not anyone else's to claim but that Fey's.

00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:24.199
So she actually was like around 200 or like 250 when it all kind of went down.

00:27:24.229 --> 00:27:29.648
So if she was to go back to Covia, I don't think that there would be many people.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:31.710
Because it was a largely human kingdom.

00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:37.279
I don't think there would be any, like, many people that actually remember what she looked like or what her name was.

00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:42.099
Cyril, who's the knight that, like, currently is ruling it, would recognize her.

00:27:42.130 --> 00:27:45.819
But she still would look very different, because she also became a Fey.

00:27:45.950 --> 00:27:49.118
So it'd be like, I recognize you, but you're definitely changed.

00:28:17.909 --> 00:28:20.338
Hello adventurers! It's lovely to meet you.

00:28:20.679 --> 00:28:26.049
I'm Natalie, and I'm here with my friends to tell you about the next podcast series you're about to fall in love with.

00:28:26.549 --> 00:28:28.769
We are the Storyteller Squad.

00:28:29.189 --> 00:28:34.019
Have you ever wished for an actual play podcast that combined cozy slice of life with exciting fantasy adventures?

00:28:34.464 --> 00:28:41.013
Do you enjoy dramatic musical scores, original character themes, and immersive sound effects?

00:28:41.354 --> 00:28:48.953
Do you wish more shows would allow queer characters to exist beyond the angst of a will they won't they dynamic and actually get to experience a healthy relationship together?

00:28:49.324 --> 00:28:53.773
Then join us as our beloved heroes face monstrous, mysterious, and magical dangers.

00:28:54.324 --> 00:28:58.913
All while finding the time to get coffee with their girlfriends or flirt awkwardly with their roommates.

00:28:59.263 --> 00:29:05.894
We are the 10 hours lo-fi mix for autumnal lesbians and witchy cryptids of actual play podcasts.

00:29:06.105 --> 00:29:07.214
That's one Elva tagline.

00:29:07.365 --> 00:29:08.984
It's clearly what the people want.

00:29:09.285 --> 00:29:11.894
Plus it's way too late to change our brand of storytelling now.

00:29:12.273 --> 00:29:18.365
So check out our queer led monster of the week actual play series where we flirt with the monsters about as often as we fight them.

00:29:18.574 --> 00:29:20.734
Stop making the monsters so wholesome and hot.

00:29:20.734 --> 00:29:22.134
Natalie, no.

00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:23.690
I don't think I will.

00:29:24.069 --> 00:29:24.490
Good.

00:29:24.650 --> 00:29:27.819
You can find the Storyteller Squad wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:29:28.210 --> 00:29:30.670
And on social media at StorySquadCast.

00:29:30.930 --> 00:29:32.230
See you out there, adventurers.

00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:33.249
Okay, everybody.

00:29:33.648 --> 00:29:34.569
Ready to start again?

00:29:34.930 --> 00:29:35.088
Hold on.

00:29:35.430 --> 00:29:36.019
Wait, wait, wait.

00:29:36.019 --> 00:29:37.088
I need to hydrate.

00:29:37.710 --> 00:29:39.819
Let's have an adventure.

00:29:56.150 --> 00:30:02.440
I can imagine that forming relationships once you are constantly on the run would also be very difficult.

00:30:02.740 --> 00:30:10.480
Oh yeah, it's part of the reason why I made her like very, I made her very sexually free and very emotionally unavailable.

00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:14.148
So she was just kind of like, I had casual relationships here and there.

00:30:14.148 --> 00:30:16.210
She'd flirt with like practically anybody.

00:30:16.460 --> 00:30:18.779
But it was very hard to, like, tie her down.

00:30:18.819 --> 00:30:20.829
What would you say her sexuality was?

00:30:20.910 --> 00:30:22.730
I had her same sexuality as mine.

00:30:22.730 --> 00:30:23.619
She was bisexual.

00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:26.888
It was really like, uh, again, I've never made a choice in my life.

00:30:26.890 --> 00:30:28.880
So why start now?

00:30:29.269 --> 00:30:33.088
Well, going into that a little bit, you said that she's in many ways a self insert.

00:30:33.088 --> 00:30:39.450
We already know about the look and we already know about the sexuality, but are there other ways in which she was a self insert for you?

00:30:39.829 --> 00:30:48.538
Yeah, I think at the time when I first started playing her, like, I was just starting to get into D&D, so getting into the role playing aspect was interesting.

00:30:48.910 --> 00:31:17.490
And so, again, I leaned on just like, I'm just gonna react to things as I would, basically, so it was truly just me playing myself as much as possible and applying it to fantasy settings, which was easier to do, like, in written formats, but I think a lot of her personality and demeanor, like, I had her always being very much, like, a protector of other people, pretty good moral compass, and, like, doesn't really stand for a lot of people picking on the less fortunate or anything like that.

00:31:18.059 --> 00:31:21.150
Always being like a very loyal and protective person.

00:31:21.390 --> 00:31:24.960
And so you would say that you're also a very loyal, protective person?

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:26.079
To a fault, yes.

00:31:26.859 --> 00:31:27.710
Absolutely.

00:31:27.750 --> 00:31:30.969
Did you have any flaws of your own that you brought into the character?

00:31:31.019 --> 00:31:38.750
Yeah, I think at the time especially was very applicable like the, I don't know that this was necessarily count as a flaw.

00:31:38.750 --> 00:31:46.900
But definitely things I was working through was like the sexual promiscuity and the emotional unavailability was something that was really prevalent in my life at the time.

00:31:46.900 --> 00:31:50.279
So that was really easy to just play out as a character.

00:31:50.329 --> 00:31:56.750
And it stemmed from a lot of like my own stuff, but it was also the element of not wanting to get hurt.

00:31:56.750 --> 00:32:01.440
So if you don't get attached, they can't hurt you or you leave on your own accord before it can.

00:32:01.509 --> 00:32:04.509
Become something that you're too vulnerable type deal.

00:32:04.509 --> 00:32:12.439
And so like, I definitely considered that one of her flaws as well as like the self sacrificing ness of her, that element of like, well, she knows she can't die.

00:32:12.439 --> 00:32:18.710
So she's the first one to throw herself into something to protect other people, no matter how much, like, obviously she still feels pain.

00:32:18.729 --> 00:32:23.410
Obviously she can still go down and things like that was definitely something I'm like, I'm like, yep, that's.

00:32:23.730 --> 00:32:25.569
We're just going to tuck that, tuck that right there.

00:32:26.630 --> 00:32:35.390
I think that you can look at that kind of character trait, you know, the wanting to rush ahead, wanting to protect others, being the first person to charge into battle.

00:32:35.390 --> 00:32:37.859
And you can say, that is brave.

00:32:38.224 --> 00:32:39.265
That is honorable.

00:32:39.265 --> 00:32:40.224
That is courageous.

00:32:40.224 --> 00:32:42.654
And you can also say, that is a death wish.

00:32:42.914 --> 00:32:45.605
Where does it fall for Reyna?

00:32:45.704 --> 00:32:47.825
Or is it sometimes one and sometimes the other?

00:32:48.075 --> 00:32:50.753
It never was so much a, a death wish.

00:32:50.753 --> 00:33:02.325
I don't think that's like part of her, but I think it was more so knowing that she's capable of handling something hard and handling that for other people instead of having them do it.

00:33:02.349 --> 00:33:03.990
It's like I can bear the burden.

00:33:04.099 --> 00:33:10.140
I can deal with this hardship and that way I'm saving other people from doing it because like I've had to do it my whole life.

00:33:10.539 --> 00:33:20.755
Do you think that drawing in your own personal flaws, things that you were dealing with or struggling with was a way for you to work through them personally, or do you separate your characters out?

00:33:20.815 --> 00:33:21.964
Oh, no, 100%.

00:33:21.984 --> 00:33:25.625
I be, listen, I treat that table like free therapy half the time.

00:33:25.815 --> 00:33:28.404
Like, we're all out here working through shit.

00:33:28.454 --> 00:33:33.994
And I think it's, I think it's also like a beautiful medium with obviously the right people and people that you trust.

00:33:34.025 --> 00:33:58.940
And like everyone's like, consenting and comfortable and using like proper safety tools when things get too, too touchy, but you know, like my players are definitely like working through things on my table and like, I'm honored that they feel that safe and comfortable to do that with me and let me be the facilitator to the things that I know they're working through because they are my best friends and knowing when to pull back and when to give them an opportunity to feel that.

00:33:59.234 --> 00:34:11.304
With Reyna, I definitely think I worked through a lot of things through her, both in that element of like the sexual promiscuity and like the way that she deals with her self sacrificing and boundaries and communication.

00:34:11.335 --> 00:34:17.045
There is like an element of some of that backstory, like with Velendryn, that includes like SA [sexual assault].

00:34:17.063 --> 00:34:35.764
And that was, the aftermath of that was roleplayed out with the person that, Is like her now in character husband and it was like after she gets back they had a conversation about it and it was never anything explicit never anything that like really detailed anything but it's like the illusion of like the confirmation that it happened and him comforting her through that.

00:34:36.099 --> 00:34:39.659
And him being the first person that she's, like, comfortable and vulnerable being with.

00:34:39.699 --> 00:34:42.210
And that's, again, Oak, who is, like, a beautiful human.

00:34:42.250 --> 00:34:43.869
I'm so grateful to him.

00:34:44.248 --> 00:34:54.820
Him and I both look at those two characters as, like, that's, like, our greatest little love story is, like, her finally getting her happy ending, getting somebody she's comfortable with being vulnerable with and all that stuff.

00:34:54.820 --> 00:34:57.349
And I'm like, that's things that I want for myself eventually.

00:34:57.579 --> 00:35:11.829
But yeah, it's definitely a character that I've worked through things with and the way that she's grown and become something has been like in tandem with me growing and going to therapy and like figuring things out and then like finding ways to kind of play that out in her story as well.

00:35:12.594 --> 00:35:20.744
Was there a parallel in your own life to her story in terms of recognizing things that she had gone through and learning to process them?

00:35:21.224 --> 00:35:32.505
Yeah, I think the, this is a lot of stuff that happened, like, both through the course of her and then even in the time after I've, like, stopped playing her as a, like, in the role playing server.

00:35:32.565 --> 00:36:00.570
Because, like, again, a lot of, like, my own sexual promiscuity and the way that I handled relationships and things like that was as a result of, like, my own coping mechanisms to my own assault and that took a long time for me to process and then I had to go through like a really painful breakup with somebody that I was the first person that I would like were truly felt vulnerable with and they unfortunately tore me to my very foundation So and I don't let people in that close so it was kind of like a smack to the face of like I'm stupid.

00:36:00.809 --> 00:36:01.269
But I'm not.

00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:05.380
It's more of that person using and abusing and then discarding.

00:36:05.409 --> 00:36:11.639
But that kind of put me in a position where I no longer could be, like, intimacy was not a way that I could cope things.

00:36:11.648 --> 00:36:16.150
It took that off the board because of the trauma caused by that relationship ending.

00:36:16.188 --> 00:36:23.204
And then I was like, oh, I'm I don't know what to do, but like what I normally deal with my like pain through bodies.

00:36:23.235 --> 00:36:25.295
So like what, what is, what else is there?

00:36:25.324 --> 00:36:29.344
And then I, that was like one of the biggest moments of like, I've got back into therapy.

00:36:29.385 --> 00:36:32.045
Cause I was like, I don't have the tools to deal with this.

00:36:32.103 --> 00:36:36.233
And clearly something's more wrong than when I feel capable of dealing with myself.

00:36:36.594 --> 00:36:54.804
And that really started me on a journey of, like, figuring all of that out, and I think in Reyna's own story, once she finally found a way to be okay with that, and knowing that that was something that got taken off the board, both in her story and also because, like, on an administrative level, I was like, okay.

00:36:55.664 --> 00:36:58.135
Sometimes people are a little crazy.

00:36:58.425 --> 00:37:06.333
She was having a little bit of a reputation and like some people were getting the idea that they could just like walk up to Reyna and assume that they would get some kind of like scene with her.

00:37:06.644 --> 00:37:09.364
And I was like, no, not at all.

00:37:09.403 --> 00:37:10.193
That's not good.

00:37:10.255 --> 00:37:12.873
And so like, I would have to like hold people back at one point.

00:37:12.875 --> 00:37:16.405
And I was like, Yeah, I'm not comfortable with people viewing her as like this.

00:37:16.864 --> 00:37:18.735
So I had to like really draw some lines.

00:37:18.735 --> 00:37:24.670
And also I'm an admin and like there was other people doing some really wild buck wild shit like that.

00:37:24.670 --> 00:37:25.190
I had to do.

00:37:25.230 --> 00:37:27.170
I was also like their HR basically.

00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:30.958
So I had to like be privy to some people's private DM conversations.

00:37:30.958 --> 00:37:34.369
I was like, hey, yo, this is not, this is not chill.

00:37:34.869 --> 00:37:35.050
Wow.

00:37:35.139 --> 00:37:53.045
And so eventually, like as an admin and like Oak was also an admin, I had a conversation with him where I was like, Hey, I know story wise, Reyna has always been anti marriage because of her commitment issues, but also can our characters just marry each other so that we're off the board for like, anybody else.

00:37:54.585 --> 00:38:02.554
And we had to like, write that into the story, but also it was a decision as admins to be like, hey, yeah, and suddenly they're monogamous and they really just don't.

00:38:02.554 --> 00:38:02.903
No.

00:38:03.485 --> 00:38:06.355
Like, they're not gonna interact with anybody else.

00:38:07.204 --> 00:38:23.695
It also played into eventually, like, her story and, like, her becoming vulnerable and feeling safe and, and, like, all of that stuff is very in tandem with, like, my own journey with it and, like, for both her and me, intimacy was more meaningful and it had to be with someone they trust and have more connection with.

00:38:23.744 --> 00:38:30.574
I feel like that is very in line with how I've kind of resolved those issues both through her and then my own life experience.

00:38:30.989 --> 00:38:37.079
I have so many questions about this server and it must have been a complete beast to manage.

00:38:37.130 --> 00:38:38.420
Oh my god, yeah.

00:38:39.358 --> 00:38:40.969
It was a time, for sure.

00:38:41.019 --> 00:38:44.619
It sounds like you're somebody who uses safety tools at the roleplaying table.

00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:49.264
I imagine there had to be some sort of rules in the server as well.

00:38:49.605 --> 00:38:56.275
It sounds like maybe there was some, some growing pains sometimes where you had to kind of discover what the problems were before you could solve them.

00:38:56.594 --> 00:38:58.054
Yes, absolutely.

00:38:58.103 --> 00:39:01.673
I think, yeah, with the server, it was definitely like a growing pains.

00:39:01.675 --> 00:39:04.304
And again, like, nobody was doing this as a profession.

00:39:04.313 --> 00:39:06.954
Like, these are just people volunteering their time.

00:39:07.005 --> 00:39:09.135
And eventually it did become, it felt like a job.

00:39:09.309 --> 00:39:09.760
For sure.

00:39:09.780 --> 00:39:12.809
It started becoming less fun and becoming more admin stuff.

00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:15.380
And then like, it's 300 people on a server.

00:39:15.380 --> 00:39:16.980
That's a lot to keep an eye on.

00:39:17.030 --> 00:39:24.338
And the main guy that started the server was like taking more and more of a step back because it was becoming too much for him.

00:39:24.389 --> 00:39:53.465
And so it was like really, a lot on us as admins and there were even like situations where some of the admins were like doing weird shit that we caught on to and we're like no like what the fuck and we deal with those situations and like again I would be I would be HR so I would be like whenever people were having situations that were problematic and uncomfortable and experiencing predatory behavior they'd come to me and I'd do my investigating and address the situations, kick whoever needed to be kicked and things like that.

00:39:53.474 --> 00:39:55.695
And it was becoming more work than fun.

00:39:55.914 --> 00:39:56.534
That's for sure.

00:39:56.545 --> 00:40:06.833
And even when I was trying to like go in and role play, it was overwhelming because of like the perception people had of my character and everyone wanting to interact with her and things like that.

00:40:06.885 --> 00:40:10.103
It was balancing both making sure that everybody got their moment.

00:40:10.335 --> 00:40:18.295
To interact and like I gave people undivided attention, but then it was also like starting to feel like I felt like an NPC.

00:40:18.313 --> 00:40:27.764
I felt like, like, I'm just gonna post myself up here so people come do whatever they need to do to get their moment and I wasn't getting to really.

00:40:28.119 --> 00:40:29.739
Let her have her fun.

00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:30.429
Right.

00:40:30.429 --> 00:41:01.400
You know, so eventually it got to the point where I was like, this is a lot and I'm gonna take a step back and I would take breaks and I would have like the certain people that I just really enjoyed roleplaying with, like Oak and my friend Kay, who's now our editor and a couple other people, we just kind of like built our own little private server and would just role play with like just, you know two to three or four characters and like just a smaller version of it and get back to like what we enjoyed out of it and then eventually I was like, I got what I need with that baby server.

00:41:01.400 --> 00:41:02.179
That's just private.

00:41:02.179 --> 00:41:13.030
It's just me and my friends and people I love and I care and I trust and I'm just going to take a step back from this monstrosity of a server and I get to going for a good, good while after I left and stuff.

00:41:13.030 --> 00:41:26.259
But I think last year, yeah Oak was still an admin in there and he finally like made the decision to archive it, but like you can still go back and like read all the stories and all the things that are in there, but it's it's now a dormant server.

00:41:26.489 --> 00:41:36.300
It sounds like you had some struggles with kind of parasociality like this, you know, people are meeting each other on TikTok, you're in a server where you're not seeing each other's faces.

00:41:36.545 --> 00:41:47.195
It can make situations that might work in person when you can see other people's physical body expression or language not really working so much in online spaces.

00:41:47.255 --> 00:42:03.125
Yeah, yeah, it's that and then I don't know sometimes it would be like an interaction and like so our characters are having an interaction but then I get a DM from the person I'm talking to and then being like, hey, so can this scene go this way and I'm like, first of all, hello?

00:42:03.985 --> 00:42:05.494
Like, nice to meet you.

00:42:05.494 --> 00:42:06.815
I don't even know who you are.

00:42:06.875 --> 00:42:08.005
Second of all, no.

00:42:08.594 --> 00:42:10.485
Like, that's not how this is gonna go.

00:42:11.045 --> 00:42:12.974
I'm like, our characters aren't even talking about it.

00:42:12.994 --> 00:42:18.653
We're like talking about what sandwich we're gonna order at this tavern, and you're trying to like, do some wild shit.

00:42:18.675 --> 00:42:22.125
Like, no, that's not even, that's not even at all what I read of the situation.

00:42:22.355 --> 00:42:24.804
And so it was just like, it was just getting to be too much.

00:42:24.804 --> 00:42:28.724
And yeah, the parasocial relationship stuff was, was definitely an issue.

00:42:28.784 --> 00:42:32.315
I feel like part of this is also just being a woman on the internet.

00:42:32.353 --> 00:42:32.664
Yeah.

00:42:33.375 --> 00:42:34.954
Yeah, for sure.

00:42:34.974 --> 00:42:41.375
And like, to be fair, like Reyna's content, uh, when I was doing it on TikTok was like, was very thirst trappy.

00:42:41.414 --> 00:42:45.614
And like, I got, I got giga yitties and I was using them to my advantage.

00:42:45.614 --> 00:42:47.159
Like, like I've.

00:42:47.219 --> 00:42:56.480
I'll admit it, but nowadays, like you almost never see me like in a low cut shirt when I'm posting, especially not for like Table Talk, because like, that's not, again, that's not how I want to be viewed.

00:42:56.489 --> 00:43:01.980
That's not what I want people to associate with me because it's not a priority for me anymore.

00:43:02.338 --> 00:43:07.829
And I want people to focus on the content, not the fact that I'm a pretty girl on the internet that has nice looking titties.

00:43:10.829 --> 00:43:17.969
I feel like even if that's not your emphasis, you know, okay, personally, I do not, you know, put my tits out there.

00:43:18.170 --> 00:43:20.409
Not a, not a huge fan of it makes me feel uncomfortable.

00:43:20.409 --> 00:43:21.849
I don't like that kind of attention.

00:43:21.880 --> 00:43:24.840
There are people who do that because they do like that kind of attention.

00:43:25.019 --> 00:43:26.280
Yeah, and that's perfectly fine.

00:43:26.539 --> 00:43:35.315
And then there's just, you have tits and it's not about the tits, it's just that they were there and you want to make content and you feel that's how you feel happy in your body.

00:43:35.315 --> 00:43:53.985
So I think it's, it's really hard because for women or for people who have bodies that attract that kind of attention, you're kind of damned if you do damned if you don't, where it's, it's hard to have, find a place where you're getting the kind of attention that you want and avoiding the kind of attention that very frequently comes in unwanted.

00:43:54.079 --> 00:43:54.849
Absolutely.

00:43:54.940 --> 00:44:11.809
Because it's, it's really a like, I mean, you can, and most like women are in feminine presenting or like people that used to present as women would understand is like, you know, you could show up somewhere in a goddamn hoodie and baggy sweatpants with no makeup on and your fucking hair is a mess.

00:44:12.125 --> 00:44:16.695
And some person is still gonna be out here with the audacity, be like, hey lil mama, what's up?

00:44:16.715 --> 00:44:20.034
And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

00:44:20.034 --> 00:44:22.644
Like, what about me was inviting in this moment?

00:44:22.684 --> 00:44:29.355
I'm literally in the worst mood possible and I look like I've been drug through the mud and you're like, hey, you've got a pulse.

00:44:29.545 --> 00:44:31.188
Like, you got me fucked up.

00:44:31.780 --> 00:44:43.780
I still, like, I'm very comfortable in my body and, like, I love, there are moments where I like to be a little more sexy and it, but it's more for me and, like, if a man looks at me sideways, I'm also a big woman and I will throw somebody into a wall.

00:44:44.628 --> 00:44:46.320
And so, like, it's fine.

00:44:46.329 --> 00:44:47.329
I will pay to see that.

00:44:48.179 --> 00:44:49.559
No, yeah, I have done so.

00:44:49.579 --> 00:44:50.300
I have done so.

00:44:50.300 --> 00:44:52.730
I threw a seven foot tall man into a locker.

00:44:52.780 --> 00:44:55.230
Yeah, I've never had an issue with confrontation.

00:44:55.670 --> 00:44:59.688
Uh, my friends love going out with me because I will post up.

00:45:00.250 --> 00:45:01.570
on somebody for them.

00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:06.550
The Barbarian makes sense, essentially, is what I'm trying to get at.

00:45:06.590 --> 00:45:09.929
To each their own and however you feel most comfortable.

00:45:09.980 --> 00:45:18.179
For me, it's just, that's part of my own journey and like, I'm at a point where I'm like, you know, I don't want that attention unless I specifically am asking for it, uh, many other ways.

00:45:18.199 --> 00:45:22.139
Like, I could be quite alluring without like, them ever seeing the light of day.

00:45:24.329 --> 00:45:29.010
For the audio only listeners, Alejandra is gesturing towards her chest.

00:45:30.610 --> 00:45:33.690
Sometimes we forget that this is an audio medium.

00:45:34.329 --> 00:45:36.509
She was a wild magic barbarian.

00:45:36.539 --> 00:45:40.530
Yeah, which, to be honest, didn't come into play that much on the server.

00:45:40.570 --> 00:45:46.219
Cause I, again, was very new to D&D and forgot that I need to roll on a fucking table every time I rage.

00:45:46.610 --> 00:45:51.224
So, like It almost never really took any effect on, like, story wise.

00:45:51.255 --> 00:45:55.704
I probably would do something different now, knowing what I know about, like, mechanics and other things.

00:45:55.755 --> 00:45:58.045
But Wild Magic seemed fun, and I was like, yeah, I don't know.

00:45:58.094 --> 00:46:01.255
Did it ever pop off, or did you forget every time?

00:46:01.614 --> 00:46:03.684
I'm almost certain I forgot, like, every time.

00:46:04.565 --> 00:46:22.775
Because it's also like, it was a roleplay server, and there wasn't hardly any reason for her to get into a rage unless we were, like, Specifically having combat and then I, again, was already having a hard enough time keeping track of combat because I suck at combat historically, uh, to be like, oh, right, let me roll on this fucking magic table.

00:46:22.775 --> 00:46:24.344
I forgot that I need to do that.

00:46:24.375 --> 00:46:26.605
I don't think it ever actually, like, came into play.

00:46:26.605 --> 00:46:30.945
And if it did, I have since forgotten whatever the fuck it was that popped off.

00:46:30.974 --> 00:46:32.864
I think I turned into a plant one time.

00:46:32.875 --> 00:46:35.744
I think someone reminded me and I rolled and I turned into a plant.

00:46:35.804 --> 00:46:36.184
Nice.

00:46:36.224 --> 00:46:37.105
I was like, fair enough.

00:46:37.405 --> 00:46:37.655
Fair enough.

00:46:37.675 --> 00:46:38.454
That's very cool.

00:46:38.739 --> 00:46:39.800
I've wanted to do that.

00:46:39.800 --> 00:46:48.849
I'm currently playing a wild magic sorcerer in a campaign and it's like you really, really want it to happen, but you always forget to make the rolls.

00:46:49.159 --> 00:46:53.579
And so it's just like, I think we're 10, a dozen sessions in or something in the campaign.

00:46:53.579 --> 00:46:55.639
I think I've had one wild magic surge.

00:46:55.699 --> 00:46:56.739
It's a little disappointing.

00:46:56.739 --> 00:47:02.750
I mean, it's really fun that it can happen, but it's also like, I feel like you have to be doing combat like all the time.

00:47:02.780 --> 00:47:04.699
For it to really be like prevalent.

00:47:04.710 --> 00:47:05.210
Yeah.

00:47:05.260 --> 00:47:08.480
I have a wild magic barbarian in our current campaign.

00:47:08.659 --> 00:47:14.670
Game as like one of my players and stuff and I don't roll on the traditional while magic table.

00:47:14.690 --> 00:47:18.139
I roll on one that has like over a thousand entries.

00:47:18.230 --> 00:47:20.239
So that's been interesting.

00:47:20.250 --> 00:47:23.690
And there's definitely been a lot of moments where things have popped off.

00:47:23.798 --> 00:47:30.130
One of my favorite ones was that, like, he woke up ugly one day, and he very much is keen on his appearance.

00:47:30.130 --> 00:47:34.619
He's a dragonborn and like, polishes his horns and like, his scales are always pristine.

00:47:34.659 --> 00:47:38.420
And so like, him waking up ugly that day was a catastrophe.

00:47:38.579 --> 00:47:41.960
And like, it was a like, level 9 emergency.

00:47:42.010 --> 00:47:46.458
It was one of the funniest fucking sessions we ever had.

00:47:46.460 --> 00:47:48.690
The quest is to make him pretty again.

00:47:48.710 --> 00:47:51.088
Yeah, he was just laying in bed like he was dead.

00:47:51.150 --> 00:47:51.519
dying.

00:47:52.099 --> 00:48:04.500
And he was, like, convinced that he had, like, a deadly illness, and, like, called every, like, OP healer that they knew, and they were just pouring all their, all their spell slots into him, and nothing was working.

00:48:04.500 --> 00:48:05.619
And he's, like, I'm dying.

00:48:05.670 --> 00:48:08.969
Like, he's, like, pretending he has cancer, and he's, like, I'm dying.

00:48:10.824 --> 00:48:11.885
And then he was fine the next day.

00:48:13.855 --> 00:48:14.655
That's so funny.

00:48:14.664 --> 00:48:16.755
I love these kinds of random effects.

00:48:16.755 --> 00:48:21.204
We were talking before about how dice randomizes what can happen in a campaign.

00:48:21.474 --> 00:48:26.664
Wild Magic is another randomizer that can cause some pretty interesting effects.

00:48:26.704 --> 00:48:32.914
Did Wild Magic ever come into play to change your character or adjust their path at all?

00:48:33.744 --> 00:48:39.715
With Reyna, I honestly think I didn't play around enough with the Wild Magic as I should have.

00:48:39.885 --> 00:48:51.585
Again, because, like, I wasn't just familiar enough with it, and then, like, I honestly did more with the warlock stuff once that started coming into play, and that felt more in line with, like, where her story was going.

00:48:51.914 --> 00:49:03.005
So, she had a lot of, like, darker, like, night themed magic, and I just added a lot of flavor to that to her rages was like the warlock mixing with the rage and things like that.

00:49:03.065 --> 00:49:05.184
It didn't come into play as much as it should have.

00:49:05.184 --> 00:49:13.235
And again, that's like one of the big reasons why I'm like, I wish I could play her now knowing what I know now about different classes and having more experience with combat and other things.

00:49:13.235 --> 00:49:15.474
I would still have her be a barbarian.

00:49:15.755 --> 00:49:24.094
But I would probably choose something different that I felt like was more handy in combat and that I wouldn't just forget to do.

00:49:24.105 --> 00:49:24.664
Right.

00:49:24.914 --> 00:49:29.014
Do you have a build already prepared or is that just kind of a idle thought?

00:49:29.054 --> 00:49:36.824
I think she would probably be either ancestral guardian or like a berserk barbarian, I think, to start.

00:49:36.864 --> 00:49:40.894
And you're thinking about this primarily because of combat optimization or are there other reasons?

00:49:41.855 --> 00:49:43.005
Probably more for combat.

00:49:43.275 --> 00:49:55.025
Like, if I was to start her out in the, like, Colosseum, then I would definitely be like, no, I gotta come in here with, with some shit that's gonna be fucking useful and not just be, I don't know, randomly turning blue during combat.

00:49:55.034 --> 00:49:55.483
Like, I don't.

00:49:57.594 --> 00:50:02.655
Does Reyna have a personal code or motto that she lives by?

00:50:02.994 --> 00:50:27.074
Mmm, not so much a personal code, but I think for her, there's nothing she wouldn't do for her people and they would always come first to her and during the time of the server, because I was both an admin and like in story, a person that was like high ranking in the guild that extended to all guild members.

00:50:27.083 --> 00:50:43.094
So like anybody could really come to her for aid and she would help even if it was like somebody that was not someone that she's ever interacted with like just being part of the guild and someone she feels responsible for lended her services to that person in current.

00:50:43.304 --> 00:50:45.695
It means her husband and her family.

00:50:45.695 --> 00:50:48.644
She's got kids and by extension, friends of her kids.

00:50:48.644 --> 00:50:53.045
Like these are all part of like my pseudo family and I'll do everything to protect those people.

00:50:53.114 --> 00:50:57.304
Sometimes it bites me in the ass because some of these players have become part of that group.

00:50:57.434 --> 00:51:00.253
And so they're like, we have an archfey in our fucking pocket.

00:51:00.255 --> 00:51:02.153
And I'm like, she's doing other things right now.

00:51:02.344 --> 00:51:05.554
Like she's, she can't come to the phone right now.

00:51:05.554 --> 00:51:06.925
You can't just drop a nuke.

00:51:07.159 --> 00:51:08.050
You're level three.

00:51:08.159 --> 00:51:08.269
Yeah.

00:51:09.110 --> 00:51:10.079
Like calm down.

00:51:10.429 --> 00:51:13.460
This is she's not your get out of jail free card every single time.

00:51:13.460 --> 00:51:15.280
I gotta I gotta make y'all earn something.

00:51:16.458 --> 00:51:17.708
They're just like, that's auntie.

00:51:17.708 --> 00:51:20.760
And I'm like, she is an archfey of the night court.

00:51:20.809 --> 00:51:21.570
She's scary.

00:51:21.570 --> 00:51:22.679
They're like, no, that's auntie.

00:51:22.909 --> 00:51:23.730
I'm like, God damn it.

00:51:24.628 --> 00:51:31.349
To an extent at some point, it becomes like prevalent to her own children and like one of her oldest son.

00:51:31.730 --> 00:51:39.849
Is very keenly focused on Covia and reclaiming it as like a sense of duty and responsibility to the people.

00:51:40.110 --> 00:51:41.489
Wow, that's very cool.

00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:45.639
So she has kind of told him about Covia and that history.

00:51:45.909 --> 00:51:53.750
Yeah, funny enough, me and Oak have like thought about the concept a little bit like what happens if Oak and Reyna die at some point.

00:51:53.809 --> 00:52:01.750
And I think the trigger for her son to really go out to Covia, like he's, she's told him about it, like growing up.

00:52:01.809 --> 00:52:08.969
And I think upon like their death, each of their kids goes out into the world to take up part of their parents mantle.

00:52:08.998 --> 00:52:10.128
She's got two twins.

00:52:10.139 --> 00:52:11.739
One is Ash, one is Cora.

00:52:11.789 --> 00:52:13.019
Ash is the male.

00:52:13.304 --> 00:52:21.525
And he goes to Covia to try to free the people from this warlord and try to do what his mother always wanted to do and, like, serve the people.

00:52:21.844 --> 00:52:29.695
Cora goes to the Night Court and tries to get rid of all the, like, negative parts of the court that are still lingering from Velendryn.

00:52:29.744 --> 00:52:37.344
And then Ember is the youngest and she takes up her father's station as, like, the avatar of his god that he serves.

00:52:37.715 --> 00:52:44.255
So she's retired then from adventuring, having kids and everything, or is she still out adventuring, leaving the kids with a nanny?

00:52:44.894 --> 00:52:57.994
She's, she's busy leading a double life in like that she basically takes up the seat of like the Archfey of the Night Court because at the time that she's kind of trying to get away from it and she's kind of establishing her own life, there's people.

00:52:58.269 --> 00:53:12.500
That are loyal to Velendryn's power so they believe that she's the rightful like inheritor of that title and then there's others that think it should be through the hereditary line which is like his brother in another court is trying to encroach on that and so.

00:53:12.639 --> 00:53:37.014
For her I think it was a point of like I have a angle to go take that mantle and try to do some good with it or I leave it in the hands of somebody else that is gonna just repeat probably the same cycle so she decides to like take that up and like fight off those advances and try to bring some positive change to that seat while trying to keep her family hidden, because people in that court would probably use that against her.

00:53:37.394 --> 00:53:43.539
So, none of them know that she has family elsewhere and she kind of just goes back and forth.

00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:46.820
So they stay in the material plane and she's in the Feywild?

00:53:47.230 --> 00:53:47.670
Mm hmm.

00:53:47.730 --> 00:53:49.739
And she'll just kind of come and, come and go.

00:53:50.079 --> 00:53:55.360
And then I did have the, the previous wives become like her royal guard and I call them the widows.

00:53:55.650 --> 00:53:56.548
Oh, I love that.

00:53:56.769 --> 00:54:07.748
We talked about her morals and values, you know, being around friends, protecting her friends and her family, obviously being in a thieves guild, there's a little bit of legal gray area there.

00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:09.418
How does she feel about that part of it?

00:54:09.469 --> 00:54:11.550
She's not an all good person.

00:54:11.570 --> 00:54:12.269
I'll say that.

00:54:12.789 --> 00:54:15.349
She, she's definitely morally gray.

00:54:15.409 --> 00:54:37.213
And I like to play in the angle of as I do with a lot of like my, my big bads, most of my big bads are people that are villains, depending on the side of the coin that you're standing in, they could be really useful allies if you're about their cause, or you empathize with the reasons why they do the things that they do, or they could just be a nightmare.

00:54:37.253 --> 00:54:50.369
Reyna has had to do some bad shit before, being in a Thieves' Guild, to survive, and at some point it's like, yeah, these are my people that I care about, and if somebody's standing on the other side being like, hey, we're going to come after them because they did some shady shit.

00:54:50.380 --> 00:54:51.750
She's like, well, these are my people.

00:54:51.780 --> 00:54:54.199
Like I'm going to protect them regardless of what they did.

00:54:54.230 --> 00:55:00.139
I don't think she would ever support something truly, truly heinous, but there's moral gray area to play in.

00:55:00.179 --> 00:55:07.389
And then I think also with like stuff in the night court, I kind of, again, snapped a little bit of like ACOTAR.

00:55:07.389 --> 00:55:12.039
So there is the element of like that nightmare court that is presented to everybody else.

00:55:12.405 --> 00:55:27.945
So everyone thinks the Night Court is still operating the way that it used to, and then she's created a bit of like a haven of people that believe in change, people that are trying to weed that out slowly but surely, but not do it in a way that is so overt that they're going to become targets themselves.

00:55:28.034 --> 00:55:40.875
So she's trying to enact that change kind of under the table, but then when she has to go present as the Archfey of the Night Court to the people that think it's still running the way that it does, she has to be a little bit monstrous.

00:55:41.320 --> 00:55:45.059
And sometimes she's had to be a little bit monstrous to keep her family safe.

00:55:45.110 --> 00:55:53.039
So, it's just a matter of what you weigh, and what's important, and what are you willing to do to keep that safe, and keep your loved ones safe.

00:55:53.539 --> 00:55:55.900
Reyna, are you a good liar?

00:55:56.420 --> 00:55:58.679
Oh, that's an excellent question.

00:55:58.748 --> 00:56:00.679
Not to the people I care about.

00:56:00.719 --> 00:56:01.519
To anybody else?

00:56:01.659 --> 00:56:02.239
Absolutely.

00:56:02.260 --> 00:56:09.625
But, my friends and my family will know that I cannot hide anything on my face and oftentimes have to turn around if I'm trying to lie.

00:56:09.664 --> 00:56:11.893
So it's, it's pretty plain to see.

00:56:12.364 --> 00:56:19.755
I imagine you've had to lie a lot because of your identity, your stolen identity, or I don't know if it's stolen, actually.

00:56:20.065 --> 00:56:21.105
Would you say it's stolen?

00:56:22.724 --> 00:56:23.844
Gifted, I think.

00:56:23.855 --> 00:56:24.005
Yeah.

00:56:24.074 --> 00:56:26.923
Yes, it kind of came with the territory.

00:56:26.965 --> 00:56:35.885
And, again, when it's about survival and to someone that I have no real emotional attachment to it comes as natural as breathing.

00:56:35.914 --> 00:56:39.775
The issue comes when someone, you know, gets attached.

00:56:39.844 --> 00:56:40.603
Mostly me.

00:56:40.815 --> 00:56:44.744
And then at that point, I'm, I can't keep it, keep it together.

00:56:44.795 --> 00:56:45.653
What's your tell?

00:56:45.704 --> 00:56:47.054
Literally just my face.

00:56:47.085 --> 00:56:59.695
I, I, I will react and you will know exactly every thought that is going on behind my eyes the second something happens, and if I'm lying, you'll be able to see it plain as day.

00:56:59.875 --> 00:57:04.994
Thank you so much, Alejandra, for coming on the show and for talking about Reyna with us.

00:57:05.204 --> 00:57:06.434
Yeah, thank you so much.

00:57:06.454 --> 00:57:07.094
I love her.

00:57:07.114 --> 00:57:12.503
I love her so much, and you got me to dig into my drama, so I appreciate it.

00:57:13.184 --> 00:57:14.434
That's what I'm here for, right?

00:57:15.394 --> 00:57:17.514
Do you have anything you want to share with my listeners?

00:57:17.739 --> 00:57:23.469
Yeah, like we introduced at the top of the episode, I am one half of the Table Talk hosts.

00:57:23.489 --> 00:57:28.380
We are a TTRPG discussion podcast, so we do everything except for play.

00:57:28.739 --> 00:57:39.010
So we'll talk about everything that it takes to go both on the table and off the table, as well as interview tons of awesome other creators about their favorite topics.

00:57:39.030 --> 00:57:47.914
We ramble a ton, so if you enjoy just a cozy little sit down hyper fixation chat about our favorite topic, then you're more than welcome to come listen.

00:57:47.925 --> 00:57:50.275
We are everywhere that you could listen to podcasts.

00:57:50.295 --> 00:58:00.244
We are every Wednesday and you can follow us at Table Talk RPG, literally TikTok, threads, Instagram, probably more places later on.

00:58:00.824 --> 00:58:06.704
For my recommendation this episode, podcast called One Shot's Tavern.

00:58:07.074 --> 00:58:09.565
One Shot's is a podcast with wait.

00:58:10.005 --> 00:58:10.784
Don't tell me.

00:58:11.184 --> 00:58:18.235
One shots! One Shot's also does interviews with incredible creators and advice for TTRPG players of all stripes.

00:58:18.585 --> 00:58:19.414
Give it a listen.

00:58:20.304 --> 00:58:24.684
One of the things that any creator wants to know is what people think of their work.

00:58:25.105 --> 00:58:28.605
For podcasters, it can be especially difficult to get feedback.

00:58:29.155 --> 00:58:33.164
Did you know that you can now leave comments on individual episodes on Spotify?

00:58:33.574 --> 00:58:38.358
If you're listening there, I encourage you to leave a comment and let me know what you think about an episode.

00:58:39.070 --> 00:58:43.800
You may have also noticed a link in my show notes that says, send us a text message.

00:58:44.179 --> 00:58:50.170
If you have a question you'd like me to answer on a future episode, or just want to leave a comment, send me a message.

00:58:50.708 --> 00:58:57.440
On that subject, I want to give a special shout out to classicgranto for leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.

00:58:57.880 --> 00:59:00.670
They said something that I will never, ever forget.

00:59:00.679 --> 00:59:04.980
So I'm just going to read it here because I couldn't do it justice if I paraphrased it.

00:59:05.809 --> 00:59:08.460
Star is an incredible navigator of the heart.

00:59:08.949 --> 00:59:12.130
And is worthy of every second of time that her show demands.

00:59:12.559 --> 00:59:14.550
I'm a little choked up just repeating it.

00:59:15.050 --> 00:59:18.949
So, if you want to make me cry happy tears, leave me a review.

00:59:19.449 --> 00:59:23.619
I'll shout you out on the next episode while trying desperately to hold it together.

00:59:24.619 --> 00:59:25.909
I started a newsletter.

00:59:26.300 --> 00:59:34.920
If you'd like to get a behind the scenes peek at the podcast, follow my other projects, like my current all woman actual play, and be notified when a new episode drops.

00:59:35.394 --> 00:59:38.715
You can find the signup form in the show notes or on my website.

00:59:39.454 --> 00:59:41.755
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00:59:42.324 --> 00:59:45.284
Word of mouth is the best way to find new listeners.

00:59:45.594 --> 00:59:48.264
Your recommendations help me immensely.

00:59:48.735 --> 00:59:51.193
Thank you to all my listeners spreading the word.

00:59:51.554 --> 00:59:52.474
I'm so grateful.

00:59:53.403 --> 01:00:00.204
You can find me on TikTok at StarMamaC or on Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, and Facebook as Characters Without Stories.

01:00:00.534 --> 01:00:03.355
You can also listen on YouTube at Characters Without Stories.

01:00:03.824 --> 01:00:05.505
Or follow the link in the description.

01:00:06.295 --> 01:00:08.434
My submissions are currently full.

01:00:09.065 --> 01:00:11.885
I'll announce on the podcast when I'll be accepting more submissions.

01:00:11.894 --> 01:00:13.664
So keep your ears open.

01:00:14.465 --> 01:00:18.275
Thanks for listening and may all your characters find their stories.
Alejandra Wilhelm Profile Photo

Alejandra Wilhelm

she/her

Alejandra is a queer Latinx TTRPG creator, one half of the Table Talk Podcast duo and a TTRPG character artist.