Don Rigals, Communist Clark Kent - Representation and Speaking Out with AC Lawrence

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I didn't feel like I was represented in TTRPGs until I saw Carlos Luna, and that was like, hey, he looks like me.

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So I became a communist.

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I didn't feel good enough to be call myself Mexican or play Mexican characters because I felt like I was like a phony, obsessed with furs.

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Yeah.

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And then in the quote, I put gotta have it.

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Hello, friends.

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Welcome to Characters Without Stories, a TTRPG podcast about the roads not yet traveled.

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I'm Star.

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This episode, I'm joined by Adrian Lawrence.

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Adrian is a Mexican American DM who co hosts a podcast called Dungeons and Degrees, where he interviews individuals in the TTRPG space to show that the path to creativity isn't just a single path.

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They have also been a part of many charity events for numerous causes that use TTRPGs as outreach to raise money.

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Adrian, how long have you been playing TTRPGs?

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Oh, boy.

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I had an early experience back when I was just a wee lad.

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I want to say like eight or nine or something like that.

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My dad got the starter set and I was really wanting to try it out.

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And, uh, he was our DM with me and my brother and we played a game.

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We got jumped by a bunch of rats, and we had died.

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And we were just rolling horribly.

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And I'm like, I'm never playing this game again.

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And I stopped until college.

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Wow.

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Yeah, it was dramatic.

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And then I started There was, like, a weekly game.

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I would get off of work at, like, 3 a.m., and we played until the donut shop down the road was open, and then we just knocked out.

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It was a good time.

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Wow.

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College.

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So carefree.

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Uh, now, couldn't imagine doing that.

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Oh, my goodness.

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I used to stay up so late.

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If it was really up to me, I think I'd be up till two and three in the morning.

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But unfortunately, my kid likes to wake up at six a.m.

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So.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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An in house timer.

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I love it.

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So you're bringing a character for Call of Cthulhu today.

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How long have you been playing Call of Cthulhu?

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I, for Call of Cthulhu, I think I've played roughly around three games in the past, like, two years.

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It's really hard to get a DM to learn a new system and understand the finer points and be able to then teach it to other people.

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So, like, I was the one being taught.

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I've made two characters and the one that I've brought to the table was Don Rigals.

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A character that was only made for a half session that unfortunately got cut short, just times didn't match up.

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But I was just so interested in the different side of character creation, because you roll a d100 versus the d20 for Call of Cthulhu, versus, you know, most, I guess, d20 systems.

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Or like, Dungeons and Dragons, which is like the, to be honest, like the catch all for most people who are laymen into the field.

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But yeah, it was, it was fun.

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I got to show some of my, be more outspoken in what I believed in like a political field.

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Cause they're like, Oh yeah, one of the characteristics we rolled for was like, Oh, you just have to be like really, really outspoken.

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I'm like, I think I can do that.

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So I became a communist, uh, which was funny.

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I'm not, I'm not like full blown, but like I have very leftist values.

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So it was just fun to, to express them there.

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It's like, yeah, the means of production should go to the worker.

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And then everyone's like, Oh, he said it!

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Your friends that you were playing with, how did they respond to that?

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Are they, do they have the same values as you?

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Oh, see, because there was only one other player with me, he was just, like, egging me really hard, but he was in character.

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He was like, oh, you're one of them red bastards.

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And I'm like, I'm just, I'm just saying, man, like, like, just, it seems like it's just all at the top and the working man's getting nothing.

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And I'm just, like, really kind of sticking it to him.

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But they're like, like, I think that's where we ended the session of me just ranting about communism.

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And then I didn't get to go further with that.

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I'm curious.

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Sometimes when people build a character, they make a lot of choices on their own.

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Sometimes they do a lot of rolling to figure out what their character's good at, or even basic characteristics.

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For this character, did, you said that you rolled for your stats.

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Did you roll for all of them?

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Did you make certain choices and leave the rest to the rolls, to the dice?

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Let's see.

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I think because in the system, you get pointed to your main stats, which are like, strength, constitution, size, dexterity, appearance, which is like the charisma adjacent, intelligence, power, which is more like strength and stuff, education, and luck.

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You roll 3d6, times it by five for most of those things, and then there's special rolls for the other rolls, but then you get to put points into your actual character sheet.

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It looks like so much stuff.

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And to be honest, at first, when you glance at it, and it's like, you know, skill page for 5e is just like maybe 10, 12.

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This thing has like a row like that, but three columns down across the field.

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And I put a lot into psychology.

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I put a lot into photography because like those as an individual, those are my, my interests.

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I have a bachelor's in psychology in high school and college.

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I took photography classes.

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I put that part of me in there to kind of develop my character to kind of like seed myself into it.

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And especially with like a new system, it's hard for me to be like, oh, I know what's good and what's not good or what's going to come up and could not come up.

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Because from my experience, it all depends on the dungeon master.

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It all depends on how they play.

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And then also what the hell am I doing?

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I have no idea.

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And just choosing each of these things, it was tough, but you're going to have some dump stats and sometimes you're not going to be able to roll it, but it's good.

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It's cool.

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It's cool.

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I like it.

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I've only played Call of Cthulhu, two or three times, and Every time I've used the like quick start character builder thing because I'm like, oh my god, this is very confusing.

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It's intimidating.

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It's yeah, it's pretty intimidating.

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But one of the things that I like about the kind of quick start approach is that they give you, you choose an occupation and then it's like this and this and this will be good for that occupation.

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But it's funny because one of the times I played and I don't even know if this was like a book standard quick start kind of thing.

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I was playing an artist.

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And you'd think, fine art, like painting, where is that going to come in?

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And because of the person running it, my friend Meadow, it was very important.

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I used that skill a lot and it's not something that you'd immediately think of using.

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I think of photography as maybe one of those things where you're like, maybe this will come up, maybe not.

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Oh my gosh, I put so many points into it.

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I put 80 points into it.

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I was using it because like Okay, this guy is a journalist.

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He's going to use photography in order to take a picture of what the anomaly.

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And I was mainly just like being able to use it as like a way to potentially filter myself away from the horrors that were going to happen.

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And that was my mind.

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It was a potential shield.

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I was used it a couple times, but this GM, played it very RP heavy, which I'm fine with.

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I'm not opposed to it.

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So I'm trying to remember if it felt like I used it a lot.

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I think I've used it enough for a half, half session.

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Once is good enough.

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In a half session, that's pretty good.

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Exactly.

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So you mentioned that you bring a lot of yourself into a character, particularly when you're learning a new system.

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Is that something you use as an approach every time you play a character or build a character?

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A lot of the characters don't get to see enough light, or I'm the DM, so I'm usually just like, all the characters I make are like, on the spot, and sometimes, because of who I am, I need to be a little silly.

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For one shots with my friends, I have one name, because names are hard, so I just use the same name over and over and over, but the person, the character itself, is completely different.

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And it just makes, helps me relax.

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I'm not taking myself serious.

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I don't have to worry about the game mechanics as much.

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I just have to, I'm here to have fun.

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So I'm going to push that to the limit.

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So I play ridiculous one off characters all the time, but like for.

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Call of Cthulhu, that's not the thing.

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Yeah, yeah, you're not playing a ridiculous little monster, kobold, or goblin.

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Goblingnomeno, all the short people.

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I like the little, I like the little guys of the TTRPGs.

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Just the little guy, yeah.

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Yeah, they're fun.

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I don't know why, I don't know, I think, I think elves are boring, if that's controversial.

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It's like, it's like, Like, the vanilla of TTRPG, I mean, also there's humans.

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I feel like humans are actually less vanilla than elves, because everybody wants to be an elf, because they get darkvision, and they're all, you know, beauty, whatever.

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Longevity.

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How many people play humans?

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I actually think that there's not as many people as we might assume that play humans.

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Usually the min maxers, because they want that extra, like,

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Variant human.

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Yeah, exactly.

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You already know.

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I know, I know.

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I've done it myself, okay?

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We have to know, we have to know what it tastes like, you know?

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I'm really curious, you say you give your characters the same name over and over again?

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Is it Don or is it something else?

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It's Jimothy McTavish.

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And then it was Special Agent McTavish, because he was a cop.

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And then it was Jay, Moth, McTavish, and Moth, it was like a leopard person.

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So it had like the patterns of a moth.

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And then there was, there was one more.

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I think there was just Jay McTavish.

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I think that was, oh, just Jim.

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And then just like shortened to McTavish.

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And that guy was, I was late to a game.

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I didn't prepare.

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And I said, hey, because I didn't prepare, it was a one shot, and I didn't make a character.

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All my stats are 10.

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I actually don't have any abilities.

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And I want to see how long this guy lasts.

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The DM was like, sure, fine.

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It was like this magical academy, and I was just like, the guy who just accidentally got in.

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Fun, fun stuff.

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And I, the only thing I did was like, help people, and climb ropes, and just do manual labor.

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And while they're like fighting a hydra, just shooting down magic, and I'm just like, let's go guys.

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We just gotta, we just gotta hide up there.

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I don't know where that goes, but it's fun.

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Nice.

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So what of yourself have you brought into Don?

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Definitely psychology, definitely photography.

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A lot of it was just rolled after that.

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So I put a brother, which I do have, and I, we get seen as the same person.

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This last weekend, his girlfriend came down to go to her brother's graduation and I went with her to just help her chaperone and everyone was like, Oh, why didn't know?

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And then I'll just say my brother's name.

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Dante was coming.

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I'm like, oh, no, I'm Adrian.

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I'm so sorry.

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It was everybody except for the grandmother who just like, who are you?

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I'm like.

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Oh, someone noticed me.

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So I guess the brother aspect of this.

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Other than that, I can't, I can't, I'm not a chain smoker.

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Yeah, I think that's basically it.

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Everything else was rolled for.

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I don't know.

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You always got to put a little bit of yourself in some characters.

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The reason why I do is just so I don't have to process RP as much.

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I don't have to filter myself through a different lens, like a totally different lens and also try to figure out.

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how to play this game.

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Closer it is to my own kind of how I would speak and act, the easier it is to focus on the gaming aspect.

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And so that way it's still fun for people.

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I'm not like totally out of it.

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You know, I do an amazing speech, but then I'm like, all right, what do I roll?

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Which is, it's fine.

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It's fine to ask, but it's like, I want to make sure that I actively looking myself for the information.

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So it's not all in the DM.

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And I think that's just because I've been the DM for the majority of my time playing TTRPGs.

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Personally, one of the things that I have the most trouble being very different from myself is in values and morals.

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I've never played an evil character.

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You're talking about taking your own kind of political values into this character.

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Is that something that you do across characters?

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Not actively.

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But if I portray myself, yeah.

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I have some left leaning values, and a lot of people just, like, think it's crazy, like, that people should have housing.

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Like, but who's gonna pay for it?

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Like, taxes, man.

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We pay for the military.

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Why can't we pay for this?

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Recently, because, well, I knew about the, your podcast through the charity that we work together, Doctors Without Borders, and this year I've been trying to, one, play more games, and two, be a little bit more outspoken about my beliefs, stop being a passive observant, talk more, and how I translate that to my characters, or my, how I play, Is that, usually, I put some scenarios about, like, not everything is black and white, or not everything is just as you see it.

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There's some deeper message into my DMing.

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It's hard for me to be like, I know the answer to how to find affordable housing in a campaign setting, but I definitely try to avoid racism in my games, and, and, you know, because like people are like, oh, orcs are inherently evil, and elves are just these, like, holier than thou.

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And I'm just like, I don't really want to deal with that, because, uh, I've dealt with it on occasion, just as I am.

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I don't really want to think about that.

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They're like, oh, how did this, these people come about?

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I'm like, they're just there.

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That's it.

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I don't want to put restrictions on class, race, and anything like that.

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I just, like, let my players have fun.

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Don't worry about the political ramifications of race, because I don't want to deal with that.

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So I think that's the major way, just how I DM.

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Yeah.

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So you DM a lot more than you get a chance to play.

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Oh, yeah.

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I am certified DM for life.

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I try my best.

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The only way I'm going to get into games is if I talk to other DMs.

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So, like, during the charity event.

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I was able to talk with Northwolf911 to play a game there in Walking Dead, which was fun.

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And then Johnny from TalkingXP, I got to play.

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So I was super excited.

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I got to do, just do whatever.

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And it was so much fun.

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And I got to play new systems that I've never played before, which is a plus because learning games, trying to slowly shift myself away from Wizards of the Coast as much as I can.

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Yeah.

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What is it about Call of Cthulhu that interests you?

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Horror.

00:15:47.448 --> 00:15:51.990
The idea that you can't fully win, like these are these Eldritch horrors.

00:15:52.009 --> 00:15:53.509
You're not supposed to be the hero.

00:15:53.539 --> 00:15:55.068
You're supposed to be the survivor.

00:15:55.220 --> 00:15:56.389
Someone to tell the tale.

00:15:56.389 --> 00:15:59.179
You are not the holier than thou knight.

00:15:59.240 --> 00:16:01.669
You're just a little guy and try to survive.

00:16:01.705 --> 00:16:02.840
I, I, I like that.

00:16:02.929 --> 00:16:10.879
The, the, I guess that that idea of not being able to be the hero, which goes, we've another game I play, uh, 10 candles.

00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:11.568
Oh, yeah.

00:16:11.629 --> 00:16:12.500
Very powerful.

00:16:12.500 --> 00:16:12.799
It was like.

00:16:13.158 --> 00:16:16.309
Even though you know you will die, you must have hope.

00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:22.688
Oh! Gut wrenching stuff! That stuff, ooooh, punches you.

00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:26.919
I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just a dark person, but I like those games.

00:16:28.938 --> 00:16:32.629
So you like games to have that kind of emotional resonance?

00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:35.429
Yes, I'm a person that is full of emotion.

00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:37.899
So, so much emotion.

00:16:37.940 --> 00:16:38.980
Can't get enough of it.

00:16:41.100 --> 00:16:42.970
I like the, the heartstring pulling.

00:16:43.009 --> 00:16:49.009
The, the being able to delve into things that not just in the old game could, and within one session.

00:16:49.649 --> 00:16:58.105
Because like, when you play heroes, you'll have, you know, romance, or justice and winning and things like that.

00:16:58.105 --> 00:17:00.365
But like, what about the other things we can do?

00:17:00.595 --> 00:17:06.993
There's like some silly games out there that'll make you laugh a lot more than D&D that like, it's like purposely absurd.

00:17:07.035 --> 00:17:09.875
So like there's other games that will evoke those different emotions.

00:17:09.904 --> 00:17:11.884
And I think I haven't played them enough.

00:17:12.318 --> 00:17:21.608
And that's why I feel like, oh, these dark games, these heavier games, are more for me because I love that feeling of like, we're just telling stories and we're just hurting by it.

00:17:23.930 --> 00:17:25.200
Yeah, I'm with you there.

00:17:25.220 --> 00:17:31.849
I think one of the things that I love about Call of Cthulhu is how fragile your characters are.

00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:33.779
They could die at any moment.

00:17:33.805 --> 00:17:36.535
You're going to lose that character, probably.

00:17:36.785 --> 00:17:40.714
You're lucky if they get through any sort of campaign.

00:17:40.765 --> 00:17:41.253
Yes.

00:17:41.294 --> 00:17:46.095
Most of the time I've played Call of Cthulhu, it's a one shot and honestly, it feels appropriate.

00:17:47.055 --> 00:17:47.414
Oh, yeah.

00:17:49.074 --> 00:17:51.994
I think it's a game that's well suited to one shots because of that.

00:17:52.674 --> 00:17:57.494
How attached do you get to a character knowing that they're fragile?

00:17:58.464 --> 00:18:06.624
I think that's my answer to that, mentally, because I think I was very attached to all my characters, was the idea of Jimothy McTavish.

00:18:06.694 --> 00:18:08.534
I would do so much research into a name.

00:18:08.564 --> 00:18:11.634
I would do so much research into how they're acting and how they're doing.

00:18:11.664 --> 00:18:18.804
Like, research as in, like, looking up color palettes and looking up, oh, this move would fit them because X, Y, and Z.

00:18:19.164 --> 00:18:21.625
That kind of research, not like anything else.

00:18:21.684 --> 00:18:23.045
I did that a lot early on.

00:18:23.095 --> 00:18:25.174
And then when we didn't play, I was heartbroken.

00:18:25.384 --> 00:18:27.125
Or when they died, I was heartbroken.

00:18:27.444 --> 00:18:31.035
And I'm like, I'm tired, I'm tired of making these characters that die.

00:18:31.095 --> 00:18:34.085
I just need to understand that that is going to happen.

00:18:34.554 --> 00:18:40.584
So I'm going to make sure that I like having fun is priority because I don't want to always just be heartbroken.

00:18:40.854 --> 00:18:47.104
And I'm going to just have a silly little guy, Jimothy McTavish, and then he'll be whoever they need to be at the time.

00:18:47.153 --> 00:18:48.394
I get attached so fast.

00:18:48.809 --> 00:18:50.128
I'm a guy that's full of emotions.

00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:56.579
Speaking of attachments, let's get into Don's backstory a little bit.

00:18:56.939 --> 00:19:00.068
You said that Don has a brother.

00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.329
What is his brother's name and what is their relationship like?

00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:08.869
Uh, Don has a twin brother, the name is Sebastian, from what I can read.

00:19:08.990 --> 00:19:13.189
He showed me how to be an individual from a town that always grouped us.

00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:20.799
And I think that it was essentially like I needed somebody to look, not directly up, but appreciate more.

00:19:21.190 --> 00:19:28.059
And I guess I kind of saw that as like, okay, I just need to make sure that me and him have a relationship that's good.

00:19:28.059 --> 00:19:30.150
So if he goes missing, I have a reason.

00:19:30.460 --> 00:19:34.259
Because I think the DM had said, Hey, your brother went looking for something.

00:19:34.309 --> 00:19:34.769
He's missing.

00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:35.349
There you go.

00:19:35.799 --> 00:19:40.659
Outside of that, they grew up in Nebraska, very corn-fed boys.

00:19:41.388 --> 00:19:46.240
Um, and if they're out there, they're definitely just going to be paired all the time.

00:19:46.250 --> 00:19:50.599
They're going to grow up being seen as just two and not as individuals.

00:19:50.669 --> 00:19:55.159
And to be honest, like I've had like a handful of twins in my school.

00:19:55.169 --> 00:19:58.729
So like, I could see that it's like, Oh, it's the Rodriguez brothers.

00:19:58.749 --> 00:20:01.354
And it's like, and it's like, Can you even tell them apart?

00:20:01.394 --> 00:20:01.964
Blah, blah, blah.

00:20:01.964 --> 00:20:02.684
I'm like, yeah.

00:20:03.074 --> 00:20:12.204
I mean, I think I took my time to really look at that because I, I don't know why I felt that when people do that, when they pair things off, they just remove the individuality.

00:20:12.204 --> 00:20:13.753
So I wanted to make sure that I knew them.

00:20:13.933 --> 00:20:18.153
So I felt like I brought that into Don and what he thoughts.

00:20:18.184 --> 00:20:19.584
He doesn't have any partners.

00:20:19.634 --> 00:20:21.554
Don has a bird, Wanda.

00:20:22.384 --> 00:20:23.144
That's adorable.

00:20:23.314 --> 00:20:23.844
What kind of bird?

00:20:24.154 --> 00:20:25.174
Meadowlark.

00:20:25.595 --> 00:20:33.335
You mentioned that your brother Dante looks a lot like you are you two twins or you just look a lot alike.

00:20:33.674 --> 00:20:36.974
A year younger, but taller You just look a lot alike.

00:20:37.064 --> 00:20:39.244
Did you ever get confused for each other?

00:20:39.294 --> 00:20:41.894
All the time It's just it's just part of it.

00:20:41.934 --> 00:20:45.970
You know, you come from the same parents one year apart, it's gonna happen.

00:20:47.140 --> 00:20:52.119
He had like a very distinguishing little splotch of blonde in his hair.

00:20:52.648 --> 00:20:55.440
But like recently he's grown out of it, it just kind of disappeared.

00:20:55.470 --> 00:20:58.638
We used to get confused all the time, like stopped in the hallways.

00:20:58.750 --> 00:21:01.148
Hey, you're supposed to be in, you're going to your class now.

00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:01.970
Okay, never mind.

00:21:03.029 --> 00:21:08.479
I think the idea of trying to be an individual, when we were also kind of paired up, I tried to do that.

00:21:08.729 --> 00:21:12.628
And then also me and him got into some trouble, not collectively, just against each other.

00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:15.099
I was very aggro about a situation.

00:21:15.148 --> 00:21:17.269
And I think I started a fight at school with him.

00:21:17.319 --> 00:21:21.378
And I think it was cause he was like, kind of like starting to encroach in my friend group.

00:21:21.679 --> 00:21:24.159
He started to like date a girl that was in it.

00:21:24.159 --> 00:21:25.078
So then he sat in here.

00:21:25.078 --> 00:21:26.058
I'm like, what are you doing here?

00:21:26.109 --> 00:21:29.509
And I think I was trying to make a, like an individual of myself.

00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:29.878
So.

00:21:29.929 --> 00:21:30.489
Yeah.

00:21:30.599 --> 00:21:31.638
Yeah, I feel that

00:21:31.719 --> 00:21:32.439
it was interesting.

00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:45.480
I think one of the things that made me most mad at my sister, my younger sister was when she took a piece of clothing from me, like a jacket, and she wore it to school and she told everybody that it was hers.

00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:46.539
Oh, my god.

00:21:46.539 --> 00:21:48.979
I was so angry because it was the same thing.

00:21:48.979 --> 00:21:50.439
We were very close in age.

00:21:50.749 --> 00:21:51.979
They look similar.

00:21:52.489 --> 00:21:54.849
So it was like, I need something that's mine.

00:21:54.898 --> 00:21:56.299
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:56.369 --> 00:21:57.419
Oh, gosh.

00:21:58.179 --> 00:22:02.269
I don't know if I threw something at the jacket or I ripped it or something.

00:22:02.329 --> 00:22:04.439
And then he told me this is your jacket.

00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:06.660
And that pissed me the hell off.

00:22:08.119 --> 00:22:09.759
Oh my gosh.

00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:11.750
Uh, good times.

00:22:11.779 --> 00:22:12.420
We're good now.

00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:15.650
I mean he he's living all the way in Florida.

00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:24.424
So well, there's this thing that when you get around your your sibling like you guys work well together and then all of a sudden I just can't stand them.

00:22:26.174 --> 00:22:29.164
That's my relationship, at least with my youngest brother.

00:22:29.194 --> 00:22:32.085
We work very well together, but not for long periods of time.

00:22:33.854 --> 00:22:36.555
What was the setting for the Call of Cthulhu game?

00:22:36.683 --> 00:22:39.174
Was it in Nebraska, where they were from?

00:22:39.825 --> 00:22:41.154
Uh, New York.

00:22:41.374 --> 00:22:45.914
Call of Cthulhu in Nebraska is, I've never heard anything like that, and it sounds amazing.

00:22:45.974 --> 00:22:50.525
It sounds like endless cornfields, and then just being stuck in them.

00:22:50.994 --> 00:22:55.605
This was in New York, but I was, I wanted my person to be from somewhere small.

00:22:55.654 --> 00:23:00.505
And, I don't know why, I don't think I had a reason, I just thought, Omaha, Nebraska, why not?

00:23:00.505 --> 00:23:01.055
Mm hmm.

00:23:01.125 --> 00:23:05.388
And then we were just, both moved to New York, get out of the small town, make names for ourselves.

00:23:05.829 --> 00:23:08.700
How long has Don been living in New York?

00:23:09.089 --> 00:23:13.549
Don's been living in New York for, making this up on the spot, He's 25.

00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:18.039
I'm gonna think he got out of high school and he just moved immediately.

00:23:18.409 --> 00:23:21.729
So I think he was probably in there for at least 7 years.

00:23:21.778 --> 00:23:29.969
Not sure if he went to college or he just started to just work for newspapers, but he started from low rung and then just 7 years working at the paper finally became a journalist.

00:23:30.349 --> 00:23:33.869
He is a photographer, or he also writes?

00:23:33.980 --> 00:23:34.659
He writes.

00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:41.148
He does, like, he snaps a pic and, like, gotchas, but also he's been, because of the setting, people have been coming to him.

00:23:41.349 --> 00:23:42.229
"There's something out there.

00:23:42.329 --> 00:23:49.769
There's something out there." So he's been, like, looking, investigating slightly, probably asked his brother about it, and his brother went to go look out and then disappeared.

00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:55.440
How prepared was Don for this kind of encounter?

00:23:55.769 --> 00:23:57.059
How much did he know?

00:23:57.069 --> 00:24:02.569
Did he know that there was some sort of eldritch horror or was he just like, maybe there's an alligator in the sewers?

00:24:02.809 --> 00:24:03.559
You know what I mean?

00:24:04.029 --> 00:24:04.939
He was skeptical.

00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:07.929
He did not think there was anything else out there.

00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.259
There's already trouble enough.

00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:11.159
What, why worry about an eldritch horror?

00:24:11.584 --> 00:24:14.474
You know, rack it up to lead paint in the walls.

00:24:14.503 --> 00:24:15.444
Like, I don't know.

00:24:15.594 --> 00:24:16.664
People are seeing things.

00:24:16.724 --> 00:24:20.494
You know, when meeting with that, try to play it off.

00:24:20.523 --> 00:24:22.864
Try to think of something rational.

00:24:22.914 --> 00:24:27.794
But ultimately, when you see something that cannot be explained away, your sanity is gonna get hit.

00:24:29.474 --> 00:24:32.325
Did he prepare for these encounters?

00:24:32.384 --> 00:24:38.704
Does he bring a backpack and a flashlight and a gun or is he just heading into danger without a care?

00:24:39.345 --> 00:24:40.825
Okay, his gear and possessions.

00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:42.279
as by the book.

00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:43.359
Survival bag?

00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:44.549
I don't know what's in there.

00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:48.069
Flashlight, pad, and pencil.

00:24:48.609 --> 00:24:48.750
That is it.

00:24:49.819 --> 00:24:50.720
No guns.

00:24:50.759 --> 00:24:53.980
He's got a hunting knife, and he's got his fists, and that is it.

00:24:54.180 --> 00:24:57.480
Well, it's not like you can really fight Cthulhu anyways.

00:24:57.589 --> 00:24:58.190
Correct.

00:24:59.819 --> 00:25:01.618
That's just to make you feel safer.

00:25:01.808 --> 00:25:02.848
Yeah, exactly.

00:25:29.779 --> 00:25:39.470
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00:26:23.785 --> 00:26:27.984
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00:26:39.984 --> 00:26:41.365
What does Don look like?

00:26:41.545 --> 00:26:48.565
I think when I first pictured Don, I thought very Superman esque, you know, very broad, short black hair.

00:26:48.625 --> 00:26:53.694
And to be honest, I think this is right before I started to make my characters look a little bit more like me.

00:26:53.724 --> 00:26:54.910
So I think he was white at the time.

00:26:55.585 --> 00:27:02.964
Probably not as sun kissed as he was in his youth, New York, it was a little bit more building structured versus outside.

00:27:03.025 --> 00:27:09.243
I picture him with a white button up and suspenders, still from his, his farm days, he just still has that in him.

00:27:09.464 --> 00:27:12.903
And some nice black slacks and nice shoes.

00:27:12.953 --> 00:27:15.845
No glasses, no glasses, he didn't need to hide his identity.

00:27:17.694 --> 00:27:19.125
This sounds a lot like Clark Kent.

00:27:19.954 --> 00:27:20.994
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:27:20.994 --> 00:27:21.285
Yeah.

00:27:21.335 --> 00:27:25.700
It was one of those games where I was just like, I gotta figure out this is, this is this, that's it.

00:27:25.710 --> 00:27:27.769
Like, you know, I didn't think too much about it.

00:27:28.349 --> 00:27:38.269
It's easy to pull things from other media sources to draw inspiration because, you know, the only way you're gonna get inspiration is from the things you've already seen.

00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:40.528
Everything's inspired from everything else around it.

00:27:41.189 --> 00:27:46.269
Do you often pull inspiration from other media when you're building characters?

00:27:46.719 --> 00:27:48.095
Not in the McTavish's.

00:27:48.174 --> 00:27:53.174
I feel like, less about appearance, more about, like, story structure.

00:27:53.404 --> 00:28:00.974
Because it's hard to make a new, original story without checking every single thing that's been out there, you know?

00:28:01.013 --> 00:28:08.554
I feel like I do with characters that I have to pull out of my head, and I just, okay, here's an attribute I like from a character.

00:28:08.594 --> 00:28:11.544
Let's go with, can't do it right now because I'm talking about it.

00:28:12.898 --> 00:28:16.480
Listen, if I had my GM brain, I would have just, like, made something up by now.

00:28:16.859 --> 00:28:17.148
I can't.

00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:29.950
And it's all of a sudden just blanking, but, like, I find an attribute that's likeable or something that I can build a personality around, and then I just build it outwards into the world, and that's the only adjustments I do, and then I just work with that.

00:28:30.138 --> 00:28:35.769
I try to make original, but, like, the more I think about the characters, I'm like, oh, well, this sounds like X, Y, and Z.

00:28:36.084 --> 00:28:43.364
One of my first characters when I was coming back into TTRPGs, they made fun of me because I said, Oh, he doesn't have his parents.

00:28:43.443 --> 00:28:45.144
They're like, Oh another orphan.

00:28:45.673 --> 00:28:48.683
This was a bad DM GM experience, I'll be real.

00:28:48.683 --> 00:28:50.683
So it didn't matter but I try to think about it.

00:28:50.683 --> 00:28:52.594
I'm like, okay, I watch a lot of anime.

00:28:52.824 --> 00:28:54.453
Naruto doesn't have parents.

00:28:54.503 --> 00:28:56.224
Bleach -he doesn't have his mom.

00:28:56.263 --> 00:29:01.949
One Piece -you don't know anything about the parents until much later A lot of these characters don't have parents.

00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:04.689
Oh, Batman, all the villains from Batman do.

00:29:04.710 --> 00:29:09.109
They're like all billionaires, but their parents die so they inherit it and they get to do these crazy things.

00:29:09.109 --> 00:29:13.500
Like, it's just hard to avoid that to be your first trope is dead parents.

00:29:13.699 --> 00:29:16.358
Because like, one, you don't have to think about what's going on.

00:29:16.358 --> 00:29:18.068
You're like, uh, less to think about.

00:29:18.339 --> 00:29:18.739
They're gone.

00:29:18.858 --> 00:29:27.035
And two, just like, Most of the media, because they want to bring out the parents later or their story later, put them off to the side and just focus on that character.

00:29:27.055 --> 00:29:30.615
So I've experienced my fair share of being accused of just copying.

00:29:31.529 --> 00:29:41.849
I think a lot of times, especially for people who are coming from D&D, there's this notion that the GM or the DM is going to use those connections against you.

00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:44.230
They're going to fridge your family, essentially.

00:29:44.660 --> 00:29:44.920
Yes.

00:29:45.740 --> 00:29:49.910
And I mean, this is actually the way you, you mentioned it in this Call of Cthulhu game.

00:29:49.910 --> 00:29:57.799
Essentially, your brother is the impetus for you going into looking for Cthulhu rather than avoiding.

00:29:58.134 --> 00:30:02.654
You probably wouldn't be going after this unless your family was involved.

00:30:02.654 --> 00:30:08.434
I mean, it's a powerful motivation, but at the same time, you're, you're playing with that trope as well.

00:30:09.214 --> 00:30:16.183
I think it's just easier that way to find that, like, as long as you have a good relationship with your family, like, yeah, that makes sense.

00:30:16.565 --> 00:30:19.140
If you don't, you're like, nah, they're dead to me.

00:30:19.190 --> 00:30:19.869
That's okay.

00:30:20.009 --> 00:30:28.299
It was by especially if I thought it was a short run, like sure mess with my family, but if it's long run, I'm like, all right, let's talk about this.

00:30:28.299 --> 00:30:33.160
You know, like GM gun to my freaking draft of my character backstory.

00:30:34.049 --> 00:30:34.798
Hold up there.

00:30:38.109 --> 00:30:48.420
Was there anything else that was important in Don's backstory, besides the brother and then their kind of story of coming from Nebraska, working at the newspaper?

00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:58.630
Due to the fact that I was, like, I rolled a lot for these things, I don't think I had too much to kind of, like, seed in a quote unquote importance to the character.

00:30:58.660 --> 00:31:12.029
You know, I think I played a little around how I wanted this person to be presented and their identity, and that's so essentially, like, Superman's like big and buff, but like I thought, oh, he's been out here in New York for a while, so maybe he's not as buff.

00:31:12.029 --> 00:31:17.429
So like, dumping strength, make sure his con is good, his appearance is good, things are all mediocre.

00:31:17.470 --> 00:31:20.890
I can't say that I can think of anything from character creation.

00:31:20.990 --> 00:31:25.740
When you come into a game, It's hard to, like, put too much into it.

00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:30.509
It's, it's a lot of like, I don't know, make sure I know some of the rules before I go in.

00:31:30.939 --> 00:31:32.190
At least be courteous.

00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:40.318
Yeah, your first character in a new game is often you build your character and you don't know what's going to be useful or what's going to do what you want it to do.

00:31:40.318 --> 00:31:45.170
And then you play that game and you're like, Oh, next time I'm going to do it a little bit differently.

00:31:45.859 --> 00:31:48.789
It's hard because like, I don't want to meta too much.

00:31:48.789 --> 00:31:49.119
I'm like.

00:31:49.255 --> 00:31:50.654
Oh, this guy knows nothing.

00:31:50.674 --> 00:31:52.805
Why would I put anything into XYZ?

00:31:52.845 --> 00:31:54.795
Well, but you also don't want to be useless.

00:31:54.805 --> 00:31:59.144
So make sure that there's some adjacent thing that would assist in the party.

00:31:59.164 --> 00:32:04.844
Cause you don't want to be this like body that just like, hey, you're there to just get picked up by Cthulhu and throw it out the window.

00:32:04.844 --> 00:32:06.214
You know, that's all you're there for.

00:32:06.549 --> 00:32:13.759
You want to be useful to the party, strong, self sacrificing or something like that, or, or smart, being able to get you out of some sort of kind of situation.

00:32:13.769 --> 00:32:15.720
You got to play to those advantages.

00:32:16.279 --> 00:32:20.130
We talked about this Clark Kent inspiration.

00:32:20.130 --> 00:32:25.200
We also talked about you rolling for parts of the character building process.

00:32:25.250 --> 00:32:31.809
Did the process start with the rolls and then you justified or built around the stats that you rolled?

00:32:32.029 --> 00:32:34.640
Or did the character concept come first?

00:32:35.005 --> 00:32:37.815
And then you, you use the rolls to kind of flush it out.

00:32:38.275 --> 00:32:46.903
Definitely the rolls first, mainly the fact I'm learning, I'm figuring this out because names for me kind of hard and also want to make sure my names mean something.

00:32:47.184 --> 00:32:55.865
This one, it was just from someone that's, I think that's like an actor or voice actor that I, if I remember correctly, I don't remember completely at the time, but I'm like, why not?

00:32:55.904 --> 00:32:56.704
This is a one off.

00:32:57.065 --> 00:33:06.335
I like to think about it as I go down, like, as soon as the rolls were made, and I had the choice of putting all those points into each of the columns.

00:33:06.630 --> 00:33:08.349
Then I had to create something.

00:33:08.380 --> 00:33:10.470
I had to have some sort of vision.

00:33:10.759 --> 00:33:12.329
I mean, that's how I do it with most of my games.

00:33:12.369 --> 00:33:14.240
Because like, you have to give up something.

00:33:14.279 --> 00:33:15.558
You have to put something low.

00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:17.048
You can't be good at everything.

00:33:17.250 --> 00:33:21.369
So like, why am I good at this versus something else?

00:33:21.409 --> 00:33:27.200
So when I start creating that character, to start building that story when I look at each of the items, helps me decide that.

00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:28.890
It's not because I want to min max.

00:33:28.890 --> 00:33:36.910
It's because I think, This person would do it and and not like I'm gonna dump all my stats into something dumb It's like I'm gonna be more reasonable than that.

00:33:36.970 --> 00:33:38.259
Why is it so diverse?

00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:51.097
And I think during that time of creating I was still like I'm gonna move some points around still because also I think there's like bonus points at the end, which is nice because like you feel like you're still lacking well, here's a bit your last chance to change something up.

00:33:51.097 --> 00:33:56.904
Mm hmm Besides photography and psychology, what else is Don good at?

00:33:57.134 --> 00:33:58.214
Uh, spot hidden.

00:33:58.255 --> 00:33:59.684
60 points.

00:34:00.015 --> 00:34:01.355
That's a really good one.

00:34:01.355 --> 00:34:03.874
Yeah, yeah.

00:34:03.875 --> 00:34:04.555
It's useful.

00:34:05.545 --> 00:34:07.494
I mean, I feel like, okay, why did I want it?

00:34:07.513 --> 00:34:08.554
Well, he's a journalist.

00:34:08.713 --> 00:34:09.634
He has a photography.

00:34:09.764 --> 00:34:11.175
He's gotta find spot hidden.

00:34:11.474 --> 00:34:13.054
Education, 65.

00:34:13.125 --> 00:34:22.045
Oh, the other 80 is fast talk, I guess, because he's been in New York and he just, he knows the gimmicks, like the potential of what could go wrong.

00:34:22.375 --> 00:34:26.525
I think the next highest one is psychoanalysis at 46.

00:34:26.864 --> 00:34:32.255
It was interesting because there's percentages next to some of these, and I think that's where they start at.

00:34:32.315 --> 00:34:33.804
And then you put points into them.

00:34:33.835 --> 00:34:36.954
So psychoanalysis, I put 45 points into.

00:34:37.340 --> 00:34:41.030
Versus psychology, which I only put 30, but they're like six points apart.

00:34:41.070 --> 00:34:42.989
Like you have to make big decisions.

00:34:43.050 --> 00:34:45.590
I did not make this guy want to attack anything.

00:34:46.429 --> 00:34:49.030
I what 30 in brawl, that's it.

00:34:49.059 --> 00:34:52.789
What's there that was given to you, but everything else, I didn't think I was going to fight anything.

00:34:52.789 --> 00:34:53.099
Okay?

00:34:54.510 --> 00:34:58.840
For the listeners, Call of Cthulhu is a roll under system.

00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:06.670
So, if you have a 25 in something, you have to roll under 25 to succeed in that skill.

00:35:06.710 --> 00:35:10.809
It's a little bit punishing to have a low score in something and have to use it.

00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:11.409
Mm hmm.

00:35:11.429 --> 00:35:11.789
Yeah.

00:35:11.838 --> 00:35:13.110
I like that system.

00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:16.119
Especially how it was, the points were divvied out.

00:35:16.269 --> 00:35:19.199
And just like, you had so many, and so I was like, this seems like a lot.

00:35:19.389 --> 00:35:20.730
This is nothing like D&D.

00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:22.469
Oh, it's overwhelming.

00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:32.190
But it was still fun and, and just using a D100 to, to figure this out'cause then you can get halves and fifths so you can get a success and like a create success or super success.

00:35:32.190 --> 00:35:34.079
I forget what the words were, but it's so fun.

00:35:34.380 --> 00:35:35.699
As long as you have a DM for it.

00:35:35.699 --> 00:35:36.420
It's a nice play.

00:35:37.030 --> 00:35:44.889
When you said fast talk, the first thing I thought of is fast talking movies from like the 1930s and forties, that kind of style.

00:35:45.175 --> 00:35:47.264
Was this set in a certain period?

00:35:47.715 --> 00:35:48.835
It was set in 1920s.

00:35:49.445 --> 00:35:57.605
I just wanted this guy to be, if he's going to get the story, he needs to sweet talk people and make them understand what he's coming at and be a charismatic person.

00:35:58.195 --> 00:35:59.224
Charm's at 60.

00:35:59.355 --> 00:35:59.695
Nice.

00:35:59.775 --> 00:36:01.835
I was aiming for that journalist angle.

00:36:02.045 --> 00:36:04.295
And when we got into fights, useless.

00:36:06.275 --> 00:36:14.735
Did you have any difficulty understanding the period or did you do any research, anything 1920s were like?

00:36:15.070 --> 00:36:20.389
I think, I just thought, and I might be wrong, so correct me, somebody out there on the internet.

00:36:21.090 --> 00:36:27.639
I was thinking like, great Gatsby, like, you know, there's rich people out there, they've got a lot of money, Don is not that guy.

00:36:27.728 --> 00:36:32.969
So I think of like, these black and white cops and robbers, where people are just like, Yeah, you see?

00:36:33.659 --> 00:36:35.000
Like mobsters and shit and stuff.

00:36:35.460 --> 00:36:44.090
Because when I think black and white, I also think of Sin City because just how they made that movie, but very dark because I knew it's Call of Cthulhu, it's going to be dark and gritty.

00:36:44.110 --> 00:36:48.320
So I didn't do any research other than recalling that kind of media.

00:36:48.469 --> 00:36:51.019
And usually I think of film first and foremost.

00:36:51.474 --> 00:36:57.344
I think it's a very interesting time to be a communist, right?

00:36:57.344 --> 00:37:02.184
In like the roaring twenties, right before the fall of the stock market.

00:37:02.545 --> 00:37:09.644
Before a lot of communist organizing happening in the thirties, but then pretty close after the Russian revolution.

00:37:09.945 --> 00:37:14.675
Did any of that come into play, that kind of historical context of being a communist?

00:37:14.945 --> 00:37:23.474
I think because of that, I knew I had to be tight lipped, but like, as soon as it came up, because it was like one of the quirks I had, like, I had to talk about it.

00:37:24.204 --> 00:37:28.644
I forget how it came up, but it came up like right before we ended the session.

00:37:28.844 --> 00:37:30.275
And I was just like, Oh yeah.

00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:32.000
I gotta talk about this.

00:37:32.050 --> 00:37:42.438
And I kind of started out with code, but some of those buzzwords, but then the character got caught on it was like, oh, you're one of those.

00:37:43.748 --> 00:37:45.820
Yeah, but it makes sense.

00:37:45.889 --> 00:37:46.630
Look at us.

00:37:47.500 --> 00:37:51.050
That's the only time like we swiftly moved out of New York.

00:37:51.250 --> 00:37:54.880
This big wig had some sort of excavation site out in a different country.

00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:55.960
So like we moved out of there.

00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:57.480
So I didn't have to worry about politics.

00:37:57.900 --> 00:38:06.179
It's interesting to me when you have a character in a game that has something that has to stay hidden, some sort of secret.

00:38:06.199 --> 00:38:14.188
I think a lot of times people hesitate too much to let something slip and then it never gets revealed.

00:38:14.250 --> 00:38:18.769
But you got a chance to explore that even within half of a session.

00:38:18.820 --> 00:38:20.380
How intentional was that?

00:38:20.809 --> 00:38:23.909
Not by my part, because I had totally forgotten about it.

00:38:24.190 --> 00:38:29.860
And I want to say, the person that was across from me, the other player, was just talking about it, just like, he just brought it up.

00:38:30.260 --> 00:38:35.170
And then Tony, the GM, was just bursting out laughing because he knew what was coming up.

00:38:35.730 --> 00:38:40.730
There was no intention, but I've had that experience of just, like, having a secret and then never telling it.

00:38:40.769 --> 00:38:41.380
And it's hard.

00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:42.019
It's nice.

00:38:42.039 --> 00:38:42.650
It's fun.

00:38:42.699 --> 00:38:48.840
But if you don't say it and the session just ends with it, well, was it really a secret at all to have fun with?

00:38:49.155 --> 00:38:54.485
And I think people hold their cards too close, and I think some of my players are kind of realizing that.

00:38:54.494 --> 00:39:01.355
So they, like, are slowly learning how to divulge secrets throughout the story.

00:39:01.375 --> 00:39:07.465
And I'm super appreciating that, because then they have some nice time to do some RP bucks themselves.

00:39:08.050 --> 00:39:28.159
I think a lot of times with newer players, there's kind of this hesitancy to have that kind of vulnerability where you're a little bit afraid to reveal things about yourself and maybe as a player to like a little bit afraid of having those kind of emotional moments or those interpersonal conflicts and things like that.

00:39:28.585 --> 00:39:36.204
Do you ever feel like you have trouble with that, or are you just like a very open, vulnerable person when you play?

00:39:36.434 --> 00:39:44.045
I mean, even as a GM, I think there are moments where GMs have to also have those emotional moments with players as NPCs.

00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:55.369
Yeah, I think there's like one aspect of being vulnerable that I can't do and I'm trying to but it's a long road like I'm able to do sad and angry and all that intense.

00:39:55.630 --> 00:39:57.329
I just can't do romance.

00:39:57.389 --> 00:40:00.369
I'm very guarded as an individual.

00:40:00.409 --> 00:40:04.494
I think it was like a year or two ago, I played Thirsty Sword Lesbians with my friends.

00:40:04.525 --> 00:40:07.144
That would be a hard one to play without romance.

00:40:08.144 --> 00:40:13.525
Yeah, no, but I did, I did it, but I was, "yeah, good looking." It was hard.

00:40:13.534 --> 00:40:15.355
It was just, the words weren't there.

00:40:15.434 --> 00:40:16.653
The spice wasn't there.

00:40:17.704 --> 00:40:23.295
And then my players, they fucking loved it because they were making me all blushing and red and embarrassed.

00:40:24.164 --> 00:40:25.045
It's so hard.

00:40:25.414 --> 00:40:26.514
I'm starting to learn.

00:40:26.585 --> 00:40:32.355
I think my longest campaign, there was a player that was trying to flirt with one of my characters and I'm like, no, stop.

00:40:33.385 --> 00:40:35.335
This person is not interested in you.

00:40:35.835 --> 00:40:40.074
But eventually, I kind of warmed up and I did small things that I was comfortable.

00:40:40.085 --> 00:40:42.695
I was like, slowly working my way up.

00:40:42.744 --> 00:40:44.224
End of the campaign, they got married.

00:40:44.539 --> 00:40:48.010
Whatever, but I didn't have to do anything else because, end of campaign, throw them away.

00:40:50.050 --> 00:40:50.630
Go have fun.

00:40:50.690 --> 00:40:52.969
So you didn't have to play out the wedding or anything?

00:40:53.409 --> 00:41:00.869
I didn't have to play out the wedding, I didn't, any awkward first kiss, I didn't, or like, uh, hand holding things, like, like, I'm a shy guy.

00:41:02.179 --> 00:41:07.280
I don't know if I saved it or not, but it's just like a, a four hour thing of me just trying.

00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:12.289
Trying this new skill in front of an audience.

00:41:14.570 --> 00:41:17.900
It's a little brave to be trying it in front of an audience.

00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:18.550
Yeah.

00:41:18.619 --> 00:41:19.800
I play some games on live.

00:41:19.829 --> 00:41:21.079
I think it was a charity thing.

00:41:21.090 --> 00:41:26.780
And I ate something spicy and it was horrible and it just didn't digest.

00:41:26.789 --> 00:41:33.929
It just stuck to the bottom of my stomach like a hot coal and I like it was it was a bad time Yeah, I think I'd pick that over the romance though.

00:41:33.949 --> 00:41:34.250
So

00:41:35.559 --> 00:41:43.769
Since you're not interested in playing out romance, do you ever consider the sexuality of your characters?

00:41:43.769 --> 00:41:46.300
To be honest I was like, they're all ace, okay?

00:41:46.889 --> 00:41:48.050
Let's not worry about them.

00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:52.059
But I think I've become a little bit more thoughtful about it.

00:41:52.510 --> 00:41:58.239
Not only sexuality, but having non binary characters, having trans characters, things like that.

00:41:58.239 --> 00:42:04.389
Because I have trans players and I have non binary players, to me it wasn't something that I thought about.

00:42:04.469 --> 00:42:08.619
And because it became more relevant, it's kind of nice to have someone that looks like you.

00:42:08.659 --> 00:42:10.929
And it's something that I've learned slowly but surely.

00:42:10.929 --> 00:42:14.818
Like, I didn't feel like I was represented in TTRPGs.

00:42:15.059 --> 00:42:20.150
Until I saw Carlos Luna play on Dimension 20, and that was like, hey, he looks like me.

00:42:20.199 --> 00:42:26.170
And I didn't understand the importance of it until it happened because I was like, oh, these people are having fun.

00:42:26.320 --> 00:42:27.239
It's fine.

00:42:27.650 --> 00:42:30.960
I didn't care about religion, sexuality, anything like that.

00:42:30.980 --> 00:42:34.195
But when I saw him play, I'm like, I could be that guy.

00:42:34.545 --> 00:42:36.195
I could be the person sitting in that chair.

00:42:36.244 --> 00:42:38.324
It just shifted my thought completely.

00:42:38.364 --> 00:42:43.105
My experience now is to have more diversity in how I portray these things.

00:42:43.173 --> 00:42:44.454
Especially in my games.

00:42:44.494 --> 00:42:45.454
Sexuality?

00:42:45.704 --> 00:42:48.545
I'm working on it because I'm the romance thing.

00:42:49.914 --> 00:42:51.733
Very few people are partnered up, okay?

00:42:52.375 --> 00:42:54.514
They're just individuals in the background.

00:42:55.409 --> 00:42:59.440
In your previous characters, you often played white people.

00:42:59.769 --> 00:43:05.280
Was seeing Carlos Luna the turning point, or did it come afterwards, before that, or?

00:43:05.329 --> 00:43:06.969
It came afterwards.

00:43:07.079 --> 00:43:09.009
I think there was like, I didn't really see it.

00:43:09.059 --> 00:43:10.628
I just, it doesn't come up to mind.

00:43:10.719 --> 00:43:11.719
I didn't notice it.

00:43:12.184 --> 00:43:23.204
But in my mind, the default is white and I didn't realize like, huh, and if I bet if I grew up with more Hispanic people, I mean I live in San Antonio, I should, right?

00:43:23.204 --> 00:43:29.284
I should have that default, but it doesn't happen because like in media, you know, and people are like, there's not enough white people.

00:43:29.715 --> 00:43:30.605
Whatever, fuck y'all.

00:43:32.414 --> 00:43:37.364
I'm like slowly working on changing that mentality and it's not like it's bad.

00:43:37.375 --> 00:43:38.465
It just is, you know.

00:43:39.110 --> 00:43:44.329
I think, I want to say, because I was afraid, and we're going to get into something else now, not how to think about it.

00:43:44.829 --> 00:43:59.010
As someone who is Mexican American, I have a lot of, the Mexican thing is mainly just my skin color, and sometimes the food I eat, and sometimes I know Spanish, but I only learned it through school because my mom was too busy to teach me.

00:43:59.050 --> 00:44:00.559
I didn't feel good enough.

00:44:00.820 --> 00:44:06.389
To be call myself Mexican or play Mexican characters because I felt like I was like a phony.

00:44:06.590 --> 00:44:07.320
Interesting.

00:44:07.489 --> 00:44:08.570
Yeah, right?

00:44:08.590 --> 00:44:09.030
Yeah.

00:44:09.099 --> 00:44:15.389
And that was like part of the, I don't know if people can see the shirt, but I have a shirt on where I talked about my own identity.

00:44:15.409 --> 00:44:19.760
Being Mexican enough or being white enough was like one of those things I talked about.

00:44:20.219 --> 00:44:23.360
I'm very white for a Mexican guy, but I make silly voices, right?

00:44:23.389 --> 00:44:24.170
That's not Mexican.

00:44:24.170 --> 00:44:27.159
I'm supposed to be machismo.

00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:34.059
Why I'm supposed to be a strong man, but like, I'm not white enough because I mean, I have skin, I don't know.

00:44:34.079 --> 00:44:35.458
I can roll my R's sometimes.

00:44:35.469 --> 00:44:39.039
I know not all Mexican, but like, it's just.

00:44:39.364 --> 00:44:49.625
There's things that I didn't feel like I was good enough to be so it just felt weird like this limbo slowly Because I'm trying to make sure like I'm still this this skin color.

00:44:49.664 --> 00:45:06.375
I'm still you know I have that heritage why not and even if I am American America doesn't mean white America's just freaking lines we live within, you know, and there's so many of us that are that American I've had racism thrown at me before, you know, go back to your country shit.

00:45:06.414 --> 00:45:08.869
And it's like, I would fucking die.

00:45:08.869 --> 00:45:11.284
I don't know enough Spanish to survive.

00:45:13.585 --> 00:45:18.003
I've been slowly trying to feel comfortable with when I play those kinds of characters.

00:45:18.063 --> 00:45:20.005
Do you bring it in when you're GMing?

00:45:20.005 --> 00:45:23.344
Do you have characters that are Mexican?

00:45:23.344 --> 00:45:28.530
Or it's a little weird to say Mexican in D&D because it's not like there is a Mexico.

00:45:28.530 --> 00:45:31.929
Right?

00:45:32.010 --> 00:45:34.539
I just do like they're tan, they're dark skin.

00:45:34.769 --> 00:45:42.989
I use the tone of their skin because of my, how I just avoided that thing entirely with just like, you can pick any race you want.

00:45:43.088 --> 00:45:44.429
They're going to be okay.

00:45:44.469 --> 00:45:45.699
And there's not going to be any racism.

00:45:45.739 --> 00:45:47.030
That's how I describe them.

00:45:47.275 --> 00:45:51.835
You know, when people are on fire, you know, someone with darker skin is not going to be like, Whoa, what is that?

00:45:52.135 --> 00:46:03.764
Yeah, but then you have games like Call of Cthulhu, which take place in a version of our world where those things really are concrete.

00:46:04.070 --> 00:46:05.130
There is a Mexico.

00:46:06.210 --> 00:46:12.699
There are games out there that have very political things that are entwined into their gameplay, and that's fine.

00:46:12.710 --> 00:46:13.309
That's okay.

00:46:13.309 --> 00:46:15.659
I understand that it's going to be part of that world.

00:46:15.989 --> 00:46:17.250
So I'm okay playing with it.

00:46:17.289 --> 00:46:30.925
I just don't know if I could act out that stuff in a way that, one, would make me feel comfortable that my players aren't thinking, "hey, this guy's just playing this to be a racist." I don't know if I could GM for it.

00:46:30.925 --> 00:46:31.695
Like I can.

00:46:31.755 --> 00:46:33.474
Listen, I've dealt with racism before.

00:46:33.474 --> 00:46:34.054
I'm fine.

00:46:34.065 --> 00:46:38.884
I can, if there's like a NPC that's supposed to be the bad guy, you want to use racism, I'm fine with that.

00:46:38.884 --> 00:46:40.255
I know other people aren't.

00:46:40.485 --> 00:46:41.945
Because we want to escape.

00:46:42.034 --> 00:46:44.795
We don't want to live through it in our free time, you know?

00:46:45.445 --> 00:46:52.025
So I understand it's there and I'm fine with it in those types of games, but let me punch them, you know, as long as you let me punch them, I'm fine.

00:46:53.923 --> 00:46:58.514
I think a friend of mine said, if there are Nazis in your games, you better be punching them.

00:47:01.110 --> 00:47:02.630
What are Don's flaws?

00:47:03.329 --> 00:47:05.030
He's afraid of the dentist.

00:47:05.630 --> 00:47:07.550
Because, like, in Call of Cthulhu, you have to have a fear.

00:47:07.610 --> 00:47:08.195
Mm hmm.

00:47:08.195 --> 00:47:12.150
So that the DM can have a better way to scare your character.

00:47:12.179 --> 00:47:13.090
So, afraid of the dentist.

00:47:13.340 --> 00:47:20.829
And I think the other flaw, and it was rolled, I didn't know how to properly play it, but obsessed with furs?

00:47:23.099 --> 00:47:23.380
Yeah.

00:47:24.394 --> 00:47:32.695
And then in the quotes, I put, gotta have it, that's bad, but I didn't get to play it up.

00:47:32.735 --> 00:47:35.525
The fact that that was on a roll table tickles me.

00:47:35.525 --> 00:47:40.985
That is very silly, but it's also interesting because furs are a luxury item.

00:47:40.985 --> 00:47:43.594
You're in the twenties, you're playing a communist.

00:47:43.594 --> 00:47:46.083
Like I could definitely see that being fun.

00:47:46.123 --> 00:47:46.454
Yeah.

00:47:46.454 --> 00:47:51.804
Like I'm for the people, but man, all these extinct animals died for this.

00:47:52.684 --> 00:47:53.914
It's my one thing, okay?

00:47:53.914 --> 00:47:55.094
Just let me have this one thing.

00:47:56.914 --> 00:47:59.375
Going to the communist meeting wearing your mink.

00:48:00.195 --> 00:48:00.405
Yeah.

00:48:02.755 --> 00:48:06.324
Don, if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

00:48:06.925 --> 00:48:08.704
Ah, that's an interesting question.

00:48:08.764 --> 00:48:11.539
Now do I want my life to be better, or my work to be better.

00:48:11.949 --> 00:48:15.590
Now, I know this kind of sounds a little fooey, but, uh, mind reading.

00:48:15.610 --> 00:48:18.679
It would help out so much to get to the truth of a story.

00:48:19.070 --> 00:48:26.599
I'm pretty good at matching stories, finding the lies myself, but if I had that, I just might be able to get the scoop first.

00:48:26.949 --> 00:48:28.230
Go to one source.

00:48:28.460 --> 00:48:29.730
Go to the next source.

00:48:30.010 --> 00:48:30.699
Immediately.

00:48:30.719 --> 00:48:38.130
Not having to pry too much or beg or just try to, you know, be the nice guy and say, hey, come on, help me out here.

00:48:38.989 --> 00:48:40.289
Hopefully I don't read the wrong mind.

00:48:40.289 --> 00:48:44.108
I hear that there's some people out there that are just like, can feel those things.

00:48:44.469 --> 00:48:47.559
I never believed it, but if I had that power, I would believe it.

00:48:48.760 --> 00:48:50.260
I think mind reading would be real nice.

00:48:51.139 --> 00:48:57.730
Adrian, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and sharing Don with me and my listeners.

00:48:58.030 --> 00:48:59.010
It was a pleasure.

00:48:59.019 --> 00:48:59.719
It was fun.

00:48:59.719 --> 00:49:00.440
It was good.

00:49:00.500 --> 00:49:02.829
Listen, I don't get to talk about these characters.

00:49:02.829 --> 00:49:05.829
They just lie in a folder in my computer.

00:49:08.128 --> 00:49:09.603
That's what I'm here for.

00:49:09.945 --> 00:49:12.295
Is there anything that you want to share with my listeners?

00:49:12.414 --> 00:49:17.014
Yes, I have a podcast called Dungeons and Degrees.

00:49:17.054 --> 00:49:19.114
We just passed 100 episodes.

00:49:19.164 --> 00:49:19.394
Wow.

00:49:19.664 --> 00:49:22.505
So, yeah, you know, it's a passion project.

00:49:22.614 --> 00:49:31.860
So it's very inconsistent because job, life, like I want this to be consistent, but things come up and life happens and you have to go, you got to stop and you got to stop.

00:49:31.889 --> 00:49:36.550
But hey, I made it to a hundred and some people don't get past the first three or five or eight.

00:49:36.610 --> 00:49:36.940
Yeah.

00:49:36.989 --> 00:49:38.230
So I'm happy to be here.

00:49:38.340 --> 00:49:39.369
I'm having fun with it.

00:49:39.400 --> 00:49:44.289
It's, it was my way to kind of relax after COVID or like to interact with people during COVID.

00:49:44.769 --> 00:49:45.860
So yeah, it was really nice.

00:49:46.155 --> 00:49:56.974
Other than that, if you look up Dungeons and Degrees, I got a Twitch channel and I play out my Friday game on there whenever I can, and that's where most of my stories come from when I talk about things that have been going on.

00:49:57.195 --> 00:49:57.625
Yeah.

00:49:58.235 --> 00:50:04.980
For my recommendation this episode, I'd like to introduce you to a podcast called Panda's Talking Games.

00:50:05.389 --> 00:50:09.989
Phil and Senda are queer creators who answer your TTRPG questions.

00:50:10.389 --> 00:50:14.420
They describe it as Car Talk, but for your tabletop role playing game.

00:50:14.798 --> 00:50:15.679
And I think that's apt.

00:50:16.309 --> 00:50:17.090
Give it a listen.

00:50:17.670 --> 00:50:22.059
One of the things that any creator wants to know is what people think of their work.

00:50:22.458 --> 00:50:25.809
For podcasters, it can be especially difficult to get feedback.

00:50:26.489 --> 00:50:30.469
Did you know that you can now leave comments on individual episodes on Spotify?

00:50:30.929 --> 00:50:35.670
If you're listening there, I encourage you to leave a comment and let me know what you think about an episode.

00:50:36.438 --> 00:50:41.150
You may have also noticed a link in my show notes that says, send us a text message.

00:50:41.570 --> 00:50:47.489
If you have a question you'd like me to answer on a future episode, or just want to leave a comment, send me a message.

00:50:48.019 --> 00:50:49.300
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00:50:49.659 --> 00:51:02.105
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00:51:02.875 --> 00:51:05.273
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00:51:05.664 --> 00:51:08.684
Word of mouth is the best way to find new listeners.

00:51:08.965 --> 00:51:11.583
Your recommendations help me immensely.

00:51:12.094 --> 00:51:14.594
Thank you to all my listeners spreading the word.

00:51:14.914 --> 00:51:15.855
I'm so grateful.

00:51:16.755 --> 00:51:23.625
You can find me on TikTok at StarMamaC or on Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, and Facebook as Characters Without Stories.

00:51:23.905 --> 00:51:28.885
You can also listen on YouTube at Characters Without Stories or follow the link in the description.

00:51:29.664 --> 00:51:31.795
My submissions are currently full.

00:51:32.474 --> 00:51:37.175
I'll announce on the podcast when I'll be accepting more submissions, so keep your ears open.

00:51:37.815 --> 00:51:41.465
Thanks for listening and may all your characters find their stories.